


The Truth About Yuuri Katsuki

by PandoraButler



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Black Butler - Freeform, High School AU, I have a crossover problem, I really just don't know how to do tags, Kuroshitsuji - Freeform, M/M, VictUuri, Yuri on Ice - Freeform, fite me, otayuri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-03-10 07:10:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 33,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13497230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Summary: When Victor falls for the most popular guy in school, he falls hard. The two have never spoken to each other before. It is nothing more than an unrequited love until one day, fate is on Victor's side.





	1. One

It was just another day in school for him. He'd wake up, he'd go to school, he'd cry about how he was in school, then the day would end and he would go home. Nothing special was supposed to happen that day. Nothing out of the ordinary. It was no one's birthday. There were no sports games after school. There were no clubs for him to attend. Victor should've experienced the blandness of his own life, once again, but he hadn't.

Something did happen that day. Something Victor wasn't expecting. Victor was in the lunchroom trying to get a vending machine to work. He wasn't about to try and eat whatever it was they were serving today, but he needed something in his stomach. The cursed machine kept eating and spitting out his one and only $5 bill. What was he supposed to do now? He just wanted to get that lonely bag of chips! He just wanted to satisfy his stomach, just a bit, before suffering through the second half of the day! Time was running out and the machine  _still_  wouldn't take his cash. That's when  _it_  happened. An angel appeared next to him and spoke a few sentences Victor would never forget.

"You need exact change for that machine. Here, you can borrow this from me," the angel outstretched his hand to give Victor the divine coins. Tears ran down Victor's cheeks. If he wasn't too stunned by this holy man's appearance, he would've knelt to the ground and bowed down in his beauty. 

"Thank you," Victor said. He turned back to the machine and finished his quest. The chips fell from their unholy cage and Victor held them up with pride. He had found the Holy Grail! He had discovered El Dorado! Victor turned around to thank his mysterious savior again, but he was nowhere to be found. From that day forward, Victor made a vow, he would seek out his angel and pay him back double what he owed. Unfortunately, Victor had no such luck. He didn't realize it at the time but the very person who had saved him that day, was also the very person who was the most sought after in the whole school. Men and women alike sought his attention. Victor had to be careful or he would be put on the hit list filled with people that got too close to the sacred one. Victor was too young to die, so he forced himself to watch from the shadows. He would be another silent follower of Yuuri Katsuki. There wasn't much else to be done. 

Weeks had passed, then months, then the school year had been brought to a close. Before he knew it, the summer had passed as well. Victor hadn't done anything productive. He hadn't searched for any colleges and he hadn't figured out what job he would go to school for. He didn't care at this point what happened. If he had to survive by having fifteen part-time jobs, he would do just that. Victor had no dreams. He had no goals. His entire existence was based on going with the flow. He'd go to community college, get some bogus degree, and then search for work. Whatever happened, happened. 

His senior year began. He was introduced to his new classes, teachers, and classmates. Everything was going just as it had the past three years. Except, this time, he had a class with Yuuri Katsuki. Not only did they have the same class but the two sat so close to each other during attendance! Never in his life had Victor been so thankful that his last name began with an 'N.' Never before in his life had he looked forward to P.E. everyday. 

Today they were jogging. Victor thanked the universe for this. He'd be able to jog just far enough behind Yuuri that he wasn't invading his space, but just close enough that he would be able to admire him. The sunlight shining on his hair and face. The wind blowing his hair in just the right way. His hair bobbing up and down with each step that he took. The sweat causing his shirt to stick to him in all the right places so Victor could admire his muscles all the more. Victor was in heaven. It was official. He had died and been sent to heaven. Nothing would be better than this all year. He only dreaded the day when the semester changed and he wouldn't be able to silently stare at Yuuri any longer. 

The teacher blew the whistle and everyone stopped jogging. It was time to get a drink and relax. Victor followed Yuuri inside to the water fountain. There were only two so Victor got to stand behind Yuuri and wait. Although he tried very hard to control himself, Victor couldn't stop his eyes from trying to examine Yuuri's rear end. 

When Yuuri had his fill he turned around and nearly ran into Victor. "Sorry, I didn't know you were there," he smiled. Victor could feel his heart skip a beat. 

"It's fine," Victor replied. He cursed himself for not saying more. Even if he'd wanted to, he couldn't, because a group of girls from a nearby class swarmed Yuuri. They all began to talk to him whilst ignoring that Victor existed. Victor was used to this though. This was the story of his life. He was always being pushed around for some reason or another. 

After getting his drink of water, he returned outside. The sunlight burned his eyes. There were only ten more minutes left of class so he plopped down on the grass and enjoyed the sunlight on his skin. It was warm. The breeze was just enough to keep him from getting too hot. He listened to the wind and the distant conversations of his classmates. If only this school had a napping class instead of a physical education course. 

"Victor," a voice whispered from the heavens. Victor opened his eyes to see Yuuri staring down at him, "the bell is going to ring soon, don't you want to get changed?" Victor wasn't sure what was more shocking, the fact that Yuuri knew his name or the fact that Yuuri was concerned about him. In either case, he was sh00k. Words would not escape his mouth because he didn't have the capacity to make words, that's how sh00k he was. 

"Can you get up?" Yuuri asked. He outstretched his hand and the sunlight shone behind him in such a fashion that he had a halo. Victor gladly accepted the hand of his angel and was assisted to his feet. 

"Thank you," Victor smiled. Yuuri smiled too. The two made their way into the guy's locker room to change. After all of this time, Victor hadn't noticed that Yuuri's locker was right next to his. How had he survived without staring at Yuuri as he changed? Victor realized that his mind must've been trapped in a permanent stage of denial, and that is how he hadn't made a fool of himself all of this time. Victor changed out of his sweaty gym clothes and grabbed his bag. The two waited side by side on the bench in the locker room, waiting, for the bell to ring. This was the most interaction Victor has had with Yuuri all year.  

The bell rang and the school day ended. Victor made his way to the bus and traveled home. He replayed the events over and over again in his mind. He would need to write this all down in his journal when he got home, to assure himself that it wasn't a dream when he woke up the next day. Things were looking promising for him. He might actually manage to be friends with Yuuri before the semester ended!


	2. Two

"Does anyone in this room know calculus?" Yuuri asked the other students in the cafeteria. Victor hadn't noticed that the two had the same lunch period before. He remembered how they first met and smiled. "No? Nobody?" Yuuri asked. Victor pushed away his nostalgic memory and raised his hand. "Great! Can you come help my friend with his homework?" Victor nodded and made his way over to the table. It was a great honor to be called over to this table. Everyone knew that not just  _anyone_  could sit here. Victor was even more disappointed in himself for not realizing that Yuuri had the same lunch sooner. It had been how many day since the school year started? Why wasn't he paying attention to his surroundings! Surely someone would notice a table like this! It was so out of place in this cafeteria! Maybe his brain was just doing that denial thing again.

Victor grabbed his stuff and walked over to the table. Yuuri's friend, Yuri, was staring at a book frowning. He didn't seem to understand an ounce of what he was supposed to do. Victor sat next to him and looked at his work. "You've almost finished this problem, you just have one more step to do," Victor said. 

"What? I don't even know what I'm doing!" Yuri complained. "And you say I'm almost done with it?!" Victor grabbed Yuri's pencil and began re-writing the problem. As he solved it, he tried to explain it and hoped that Yuri was understanding what he was doing. 

"Wow, you're really smart, Victor," Yuuri complimented.

"Thanks," Victor smiled. He tried his very best to hold back his blush, but he knew that his attempts weren't very successful.

"Well, I've finished half the paper," Yuri began, "that's close enough. I'm done with this shit," he put the page in the book, closed the book, and shoved it into his bag. His homework would never see the light of day again, (until the teacher came around to check that he did it, of course).

"I could've helped you with the rest," Victor offered, "I'm not doing anything important."

"I've done enough math for one day, thank you very much," Yuri frowned.

"If you did your homework the night before instead of the period before, like everyone else, you wouldn't be having this problem," Yuuri laughed.

Victor remained at the table and silently listened to the conversation between Yuuri and his friends. He wanted to join it, but a part of him felt like he shouldn't intrude. Plus, Victor didn't have anything to say on the matters that they were discussing. So, instead of talking he sat and listened. Watching Yuuri from up close was always better than watching from far away. The lunch period would end soon so Victor used that as an excuse not to leave the table. Every excuse is a good excuse when Yuuri is concerned. 

The bell rang and Victor picked up his bag. He'd forgotten to eat lunch due to the excitement of being privileged enough to sit at  _the_  table. He should've gotten his meal right at the beginning of the period! But he usually waited until about halfway because he didn't want to wait in the long line. Victor sighed and walked to his next class. 

"Victor! Wait up!" Yuuri called. Victor stopped in his tracks and turned around. Yuuri had run after him and was panting a bit now. Did Victor really walk that quickly? "You didn't eat lunch, did you? Here, take this," Yuuri placed a granola bar in Victor's hand. "This is my thanks for helping Yurio out," he said before walking away. Victor stared at the bar of food in his hand. He wanted to save it as a memento, but he knew he didn't have that much self control. Victor spent his entire next period staring at the morsel of food trying to decide whether or not he should eat it. In the end, he only lasted two full periods before his stomach couldn't take it anymore. He ate it with no regrets.

Before he knew it, P.E. was here. He didn't know if he should be excited or terrified. Would Yuuri talk to him again? Or would they both ignore each other like usual? What should Victor say if Yuuri did talk to him? The thoughts rushing through his head were endless. Victor put his bag in his locker, changed, and sat down in the designated area so the teacher could take attendance. His mind continued to wander. He kept thinking about Yuuri. He was always thinking about Yuuri. Victor was finding it more and more difficult to get his feelings under control. He liked Yuuri and he knew he couldn't get close to him. Yuuri was one of the most sought after people in this school and there was no way he would choose someone like Victor. There was no way Yuuri would even  _start_  to like Victor back! 

Victor sighed and looked at his hands. He wanted to go home. He wanted to forget about it all. Maybe he should just crawl up in a hole and pretend everything was okay. That's what people normally did, right? Victor could feel the tears forming in his eyes. Today started as the best of times only to become the worst of times. Victor stood up and asked to go to the bathroom. At least if he hid in there he could cry in peace. 

Victor walked the hallway to the nearest bathroom. He entered a stall and sat on the closed toilet lid. It smelled terrible in here. The people in this school didn't know how to use the bathroom, apparently. Victor held his head in his hands and sobbed. He wanted to disappear into the shadows of the nearest corner. Unrequited love sucks. How much longer could he endure this?

He opened the stall door and went to the sink to wash his face. It was time to go back to class. There wasn't anything he could do to change the situation. It would only get worse before it got better. When he returned, Yuuri wasn't there. Victor didn't know where Yuuri was, but he felt relieved that he wasn't  _here_. Maybe tomorrow would be better. That's all Victor could hope for. Maybe, as the weeks continued, he would forget all about Yuuri...


	3. Three

It was Friday, so Victor didn't feel bad about skipping school. His parents were okay with it too since he was generally such a good student. Victor just couldn't handle going back. He'd rather have a long weekend then go and see Yuuri again. Victor realized that he wasn't exactly being fair but he couldn't help it. This was the best way he knew how to handle this situation. He knew that Yuuri was too out of his league, so what else was he supposed to do? Just continue falling for the guy? That would only lead to more pain. 

Victor stood in the mall staring at a rack of clothes. He looked at his phone and realized that the school day ended about an hour ago. He wondered how long it would be until his mom was done food shopping. How much longer would he have to wait, staring at this same rack of clothes, before he finally got that text saying she was here to pick him up? He'd already walked around the mall five or six times. 

An individual bumped into him from behind. Victor turned around, as did the individual, and the two both stared at each other in shock. "V-Victor?" Yuuri stuttered. He didn't look anything like he did in school. Yuuri was wearing glasses, sweatpants, an over-sized hoodie, and a beanie. He looked like he was about to pass out from the shock of bumping into someone he knew. This wasn't anything like the cool, confident, Yuuri that Victor was used to seeing. Maybe this was a secret twin? Or did he actually have a split personality? Or, or, maybe Yuuri had a curse placed on him that he could only be the cool-sexy-type at the high school.

"Yuuri? Is that you?" Victor squinted. He was still trying to determine if this was actually Yuuri or not.

"Y-Yes, it's me," Yuuri avoided eye contact and his face flushed. He was embarrassed. Victor immediately felt bad. He shouldn't have acted so shocked, (even if it was a shock).

"I'm surprised to see you here," Victor smiled and changed the subject, "I didn't realize anyone still went to this mall."

"I like this place. It's kind of in the middle of nowhere and not too many people from our school show up here," Yuuri said. He was clearly nervous. Victor just felt worse. He didn't know how to make Yuuri more comfortable. But also, this was a completely different Yuuri than what he was used to seeing. It was like he'd just met a stranger!

"Am I bothering you?" Victor asked. He was starting to wonder if he should just leave Yuuri alone. Maybe he didn't want Victor around. They'd met each other in this place by chance. The two barely knew each other! Victor should just leave him alone...

"N-No! You're not bothering me! I just wasn't expecting to see you here, that's all. Actually, I have a favor to ask you," Yuuri looked at his hands. He folded and unfolded them as he waited for Victor to answer.

"What do you need?" Victor asked. "I'd be happy to help you in any way I can."

"I want to buy this shirt," Yuuri turned around and grabbed the shirt off of the rack, "but buying things at the register always stresses me out. If I give you the money, can you get it for me?" he asked. Victor wasn't sure what to rate Yuuri on the scale of Cute to Flippin' Adorable. He thought maybe Super Kawaii was suitable. 

"Why don't I just buy the shirt for you? You don't have to pay me back. I still owe you for that time you lent me money for the vending machine," Victor took the shirt and went to go buy it. Yuuri didn't have time to object. Victor returned with a shopping bag in hand and gave it to Yuuri. 

"This is a lot more than just $2," Yuuri said.

"It's fine," Victor smiled. "Is there anything else you wanted?" Yuuri nodded. The two then traveled the mall searching for the things that Yuuri had been staring at for months but wasn't able to buy because he didn't want to talk to the person at the register. Victor happily traversed the mall with him. Partially because he thought this version of Yuuri was adorable and partially because he could finally spend time with Yuuri without worrying if someone would poison his food for it. 

After Yuuri spent a bucket load of cash on clothes, the two went to the food court and got some smoothies. Yuuri sipped his smoothie carefully and kept glancing from the smoothie back to Victor.

"I noticed that you weren't in school today," he began, "did something happen?" Victor wondered how long Yuuri had been trying to ask that question. He was too pure for this world. Didn't he know he could just ask Victor that sort of thing? No, probably not, the two weren't even 'friend' status yet.

"No, nothing happened," Victor replied. He didn't have a reasonable excuse and he couldn't exactly tell Yuuri that he was head over heels for him and was too depressed to go to school because he knew it would never work out. That would just be rude. 

"You're lying," Yuuri said, "whenever you lie the edges of your mouth always tilt upward and you give a kind of half-hearted smile."

"What?" How did Yuuri know that? He wouldn't have known that unless he'd been observing Victor for quite some time. Victor didn't have any friends, so he couldn't have lied in school to someone. No, that wasn't true, he lied to teachers all the time. Yuuri and Victor didn't share that many classes. How would he have known? Unless, they had shared classes freshman and sophomore year, because that would've been before Victor started crushing on him. Did that mean that Yuuri had a crush on Victor? No, that couldn't be right. Yuuri was probably just observant. Yes, that's it. 

"Oh, God, I sound like a creeper," Yuuri held his head in his hands and sighed. He blushed so hard that his ears turned red too. "I wasn't stalking you or anything, I promise. I'm just really observant, I swear."

Victor's phone vibrated in his pocket. That must be his mother telling him she was here. He sighed and checked. Yep, it was. His blissful time with Yuuri Katsuki had ended. "I have to go," Victor grabbed a napkin and wrote down his phone number on it before handing it to Yuuri, "If you ever need someone to buy stuff for you again, feel free to ask!" Victor smiled and left. He waved and rushed out of the nearest exit. He only hoped that it was the right one, or he'd have to walk all the way around the outside of the mall trying to find his mother's car. 

Finding his mom was relatively easy, (surprisingly). Victor jumped in the car and closed the door. His phone vibrated in his pocket. Did Yuuri text him this soon? If this was how it was going to be between them, maybe school on Monday wouldn't be so bad. So much for trying to forget his crush.

_Unknown Number: Thank you for today! I'll be sure to treat that one shirt you bought me with care! :D Hope to see you soon. <3_

Victor grinned at his phone. Maybe the heart meant something, maybe it didn't. At this point, Victor wasn't sure he had to care about the details anymore. He was getting closer to Yuuri. That's all he cared about at the moment.


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that you had to wait so long! Life has been hell for me recently with all of the stuff that I've had to do. I really wanted to post this sooner but I just didn't have the time to proofread it! If there are any mistakes please bear with me, I'm trying my best.

Victor Nikiforov. What exactly does one say about Victor Nikiforov? There is only one thing to say: he is perfection. The gleam in his eyes when he finds something he instantly loves, the way the light reflects off of his silver hair, his genuine smile, these were the things that Yuuri Katsuki lived for. Victor Nikiforov awakened emotions inside Yuuri that he didn't realize existed. It was love at first sight for him. The only problem was: Victor didn't know he existed. 

Yuuri had tried countless times to initiate a conversation between the two of them. He'd tried numerous methods for them to have a 'chance meeting' and become friends. However, the social hierarchy was strong in high school. No matter what he did, something would always get in the way. That's why, when junior year came, and Yuuri was finally able to strike a conversation with Victor by lending him some cash, Yuuri thought his life was complete. If they had never spoken again, he would've been okay with that. He nearly died each time the two were put into the same class, but now at least he had talked to him one time. He couldn't have dreamed that they'd be in the same gym class senior year and choose lockers right next to each other. He couldn't have imagined that he'd find more ways to strike a conversation with his #1 Favorite Man. And, he especially didn't expect to meet Victor in the mall that night.

"He must think I'm such a loser," Yuuri sighed and sipped up the last of his smoothie. "I look so terrible right now! Me outside of school is nothing like me inside school!" Yuuri slammed his head on the table multiple times before giving up and using it as a pillow instead. "I knew I shouldn't have come to the mall tonight, Phichit was right," Yuuri sighed once again. His phone vibrated. It was a message from his one and only childhood best friend: Phichit. Phichit was the only individual who knew the inside and outside Yuuris. They'd known each other so long that the world would explode if the two of them tried to keep a secret from the other.

_Hamster Loving Freak: Did you really meet Victor at the mall? I told you not to go. I was getting bad vibes when he didn't show up in school today. How much of an idiot are you?! The heart was too much man. He totally knows now. If he doesn't, then he takes the title of 'Second Densest Man in the Universe'!_

_Two-Faced Fool: Who is the first?_

_Hamster Loving Freak: You! Of course! But, hey, think of it this way...at least you know if he likes you he likes ALL of you and not just the part everyone sees. He'd have to find out sooner or later. You can't have just me loving you forever! <3 <3 <3_

Yuuri sighed, for the millionth time. Phichit had a valid point but that didn't make it any less difficult. Victor was Victor all the way through. Meanwhile, confident Yuuri was just a lie that managed to work with a little guy-liner and contacts. What if Victor hated the real Yuuri? Then what was he supposed to do? Yuuri's phone vibrated again. He expected it to be Phichit saying something stupid, like he always did, but it wasn't him this time.

_The Sexist Man Alive: Don't worry about the shirt! It's nothing! Spending the evening with you was more than enough payment for me. See you Monday! c;_

The phone slipped out of Yuuri's hands and hit the floor with a loud 'thud.' Embarrassed, Yuuri picked it up and scanned the area to make sure no one saw that happen. He was safe, for now, but he didn't know how much longer he'd be able to stay in this place without making a fool of himself. Yuuri promptly called up his mother and asked for a ride home. He was going to loathe the car ride home because he knew she would ask questions about how his day was. What was he supposed to say? He bumped into his long-time crush and they spent the evening together? His crush ended up buying him a shirt and a smoothie and now Yuuri had his number too? A conversation like that would be the end of him. 

Monday arrived before Yuuri knew it. He wasn't sure if this would be a good day or a bad day yet, but he knew for sure that he would at least look  _fantastic_. Yuuri would look even better today then any other day of the school year. He had to counteract the terrible image of himself that Victor saw at the mall. 

Yuuri stared at the shirt that Victor bought him. Should he wear it today? Would that be too much? Victor had  _just_  gotten it for him. If he wore it too soon would that be too clingy? Well, as they say 'you only live once' right? Yuuri put on the shirt and looked at his reflection in the mirror. "Well, dayum," he said, "if I wasn't me, I would be after me," he smiled. Yuuri only had one more thing to do now. He poured some hair gel out of a bottle Phichit had labeled 'As Fine As Satan's Behind' and ran his fingers through his hair. He wasn't sure why Phichit told him to do this, but according to him it raised Yuuri's sexy-deadliness by a lot.

After looking everything over one last time, Yuuri grabbed his bag and headed for the bus. He was one of those lonely seniors that didn't have a car yet. He had his license, but not a car. As soon as the bus pulled up and Yuuri got on, the person that was sitting in his seat moved so he could sit there. This happened on a daily basis. Apparently, this person felt that it was her sole duty in life to protect his seat from being sat in everyday. Yuuri smiled but didn't say anything. Her face became a bright shade of red. His attempt to raise his level of attractiveness must've worked. Or maybe he just hadn't smiled at her before...

As soon as he got to the school he went to where he knew Victor's locker was, (don't ask how he knows, he just knows, he totally didn't bribe a teacher into looking it up for him). Victor was standing there wearing his standard loose long-sleeved shirt and skinny jeans. Yuuri was immediately regretting his decision to try and talk to him this early in the morning, but he was going to have to follow through. Why? Because Phichit was standing behind a wall staring at him from a few feet away. Yuuri wouldn't hear the end of it if he didn't talk to Victor.

"Good Morning, Victor," Yuuri waved and made his way over. Victor smiled and waved back. 

"Guten Morgen, mein Lieber," he replied.

"German? I thought you were Russian," Yuuri said. He was confused and didn't mean to say that out loud, but he did. Victor simply laughed.

"Are you saying that because I'm Russian I can't learn other languages?" he questioned.

"No! That's not what I meant at all," Yuuri began, "I just didn't expect you to be the type to learn new languages."

"What else would I do in my free time?" Victor asked, "What kind of person  _do_  you take me for, Yuuri?" Yuuri assumed that Victor was teasing him, but really Victor didn't want to tell Yuuri that he just looked up random phrases in German because he had an unhealthy crush on the character Mephisto from Blue Exorcist. Yes, my friends, Victor is a closet anime nerd.

As more and more people flooded the halls, Yuuri realized his window of opportunity was dwindling. He didn't have much time left to do what he had come to do, "Victor, I just wanted to sa-" before Yuuri could finish his sentence an individual, (or horde of individuals, he couldn't tell at the time,) slammed into him. As a result, Yuuri's face was now uncomfortably close to Victor's face, and to any onlooker, it looked like Yuuri had just slammed Victor into the lockers. Yuuri was shocked, to say the least, but he managed to keep that emotion inside. This certainly wasn't how he had planned to start the day. "-you have really pretty eyes."

"You wanted to tell me that I have pretty eyes?" Victor questioned, "You have a very dramatic way of doing things, Yuuri."

"What?" Yuuri replayed the recent scene in his head. He had just said something out loud again that he didn't mean! Great, now he was making a fool of himself in front of Victor inside  _and_  outside school. "Sorry, I actually just wanted to thank you for this shirt again. There are way too many people in this hallway. I'm sorry for invading your space like that," Yuuri apologized and went on his merry way. What he didn't realize was that his group of worshipers had just added Victor to the hit list. However, a new group of worshipers formed, lead by Phichit (of course), that would try their absolute hardest to get this ship of theirs to sail.


	5. Five

Victor had started the day out normally, just like every other day of school thus far, and yet somehow it ended up being the strangest day he'd ever lived through. Not only did Yuuri look extra fine today, but he'd specifically sought out  _Victor_  to thank him for the shirt  _again_. Just how long had Yuuri been wanting that shirt? And why was  _that_  shirt so important outside of the rest? Yuuri had purchased a lot of things that day...could it be because that shirt was the only shirt  _Victor_  had spent money on? 

"I'm getting too cocky," Victor muttered to himself, "why would something like  _that_  make Yuuri love it so much? And why did I greet him in German! With that phrase too! What is wrong with me?" Victor held his face in his hands to hide his embarrassment. He was going to die a cruel and painful death, (although he wasn't aware of that at the moment) but he might end up dying of embarrassment before the Yuuri obsessed morons chased after him.

Victor had nearly died multiple times over the course of the day. He'd tripped down the stairs, almost stabbed himself with a pair of scissors, and nearly choked on his lunch. Things kept happening to him but he wasn't sure if it was him being clumsy or people trying to assassinate him. In either case, he was beginning to think he was possessed. 

Possessed by love, that is. Each time he was nearly wounded, he had been thinking of only one thing: Yuuri Katsuki. He was too busy replaying the scene from that morning in his mind to pay attention to his surroundings. If he didn't get his act together soon, he really would die from some sort of freak accident. He'd definitely make internet fame, that's for sure, but that isn't what he wanted at the moment. He just wanted to be with his one true love: Yuuri. 

However, what we want most in life usually is the thing we can never obtain. Victor wanted more than anything for Yuuri and him to grow closer, (as friends first, naturally) but it would seem they'd have to grow further apart before they'd be able to grow closer. Two steps back before that one step forward. Victor had managed to survive the whole school day, but the minute he traveled to his locker, the minute he found a letter written to him by Yuuri, he died. He didn't die on a physical level. His body was still fully functional. But he died on an  _emotional_  level. His heart snapped in two as he read the letter. The best day of Victor's life had just turned into the worst. Tears fell from his cheeks right then and there and traveled to the cold hard floor of the school's hallway. It wasn't that the words were incredibly harsh, it was just that Victor hated himself for even  _thinking_  there was hope. 

I hate you.  
I hate the way you look at me  
I hate the way you smile  
I hate that you seem to be  
Free all the while  
I'm sitting here, cowering in fear  
Wishing my life would end.  
It's all thanks you to my dear,  
When will this torture end?  
I hate your hair, your eyes, your laugh  
I hate you down to your core  
Please leave me alone, to suffer in silence,  
So that I can be free once more.  
But I know you won't  
I know you can't  
You seem to relish in  
The fact that I can't swim  
Your existence drowns me  
I can no longer feel the world around me  
Please leave me alone  
Please let me live  
But that's too big a question  
To ask you, isn't it?  
I hate you.  
I hate the way you look at me.  
I hate the way you smile.  
I hate that you seem to be  
Free all the while  
I'm sitting here, angry and depressed  
You live, but I'm stressed.  
Set me free, oh please, someone  
But that's too much to ask.  
You won't disappear from me.  
No matter how much I request...

The seeds of denial sprouted inside Victor's brain. This couldn't be Yuuri. That just isn't right. His angel would never write something so mean,  _so cruel_ , after just a few days of them knowing each other. Would he? But then, why is this his handwriting? Victor knows Yuuri's handwriting, anyone in the school knows what Yuuri's handwriting looks like, that's just how many posters he has made for different clubs and campaigns. His handwriting is all over the place! 

Even though Victor wanted desperately to believe that Yuuri hadn't written him this letter, he couldn't stop himself. Victor knew how terrible of a human being he was for not believing in Yuuri. But, he should've known that no one would like him on that level to begin with. He had gotten cocky since he'd seen a version of Yuuri that he hadn't seen before when they bumped into each other at the mall. He'd thought that the two of them were more similar than they actually were. Victor hated himself for thinking such things. He'd just gotten himself hurt. Yuuri didn't want anything to do with him. What was he supposed to do now? The two periods of the day when he was most happy would turn into the two periods of the day he most despised, it was all because of Yuuri and his own foolishness. 

"I'm such an idiot," Victor muttered under his breath. He placed the letter into his bag and tried to forget about its existence. What should he do now? What was the next step he should take? Yuuri had written an entire  _poem_  about how much he hated Victor! Was there really any hope at all? Should he talk to Yuuri about the letter and the poem? Or should he just keep his distance? Victor didn't know. 

But there had to be some sort of  _reason_  why the letter was  _typed_  and the poem was  _handwritten._ Victor was determined to at least talk to Yuuri about it. But, who knows when he actually would. All he wanted to do at the moment was go home and slap himself with a fish. Maybe  _that_  would knock some sense into him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem is inspired by the 10 Things I Hate About You poem. You can read that https://www.scrapbook.com/poems/doc/23711.html here.
> 
> I'm no poet, but I feel that poem was quite fantastic. I'm proud of it. So don't judge it too harshly please.


	6. Six

"Who the hell is that?" Yuuri asked the air. He was staring at a guy that had decided dying his full head of hair blonde was too mainstream. And, were those fake eyelashes? Or, did he  _really_  have eyelashes that reached China? 

"Haven't you heard? It's Christophe Giacometti," Yuri, who was standing right beside Yuuri in the lunch line, answered. "The dude just transferred. How have you  _not_  heard about him? All the chicks are flipping out because he is interfering in their 'ships' or whatever the hell chicks in this school flip out about. What does a ship have to do with two people? Ugh. Women are scary."

Yuuri frowned. Whoever it was, he was getting way too close to Victor. Victor himself didn't seem to care, which made Yuuri even  _more_  jealous. Did the two know each other already? Yuuri didn't know why Victor had stopped answering his texts. He didn't know why Victor stopped waving back to him in the hallways or talking to him. Just what was going on? Did Victor have a mysterious boyfriend? Was he telling Yuuri to stop being so friendly? But the two had just started talking to each other! That couldn't be right, right? How could Victor have found a boyfriend so soon after getting on speaking terms with the love of his life?! (Or, at least, Yuuri  _hoped_  he could be Victor's love).

"If you squeeze my butt one more time, I'm shipping you back from whence you came, Christophe!" Victor yelled. Everyone turned to look at the two males. Victor didn't seem embarrassed to have yelled something so, well,  _embarrassing_. Christophe, on the other hand, seemed quite pleased with the attention and only made the situation worse. 

"But Victor," Christophe wrapped his arms around the agitated Russian, "'tis but a sign of my undying affection for you!~"

Yuuri paid for his tray of food and conveniently 'tripped' so that the tray would go flying in the general direction of the transfer student. Christophe, the intended target, should now be covered in mystery meat and mashed potatoes. However, the tray actually landed right on top of Victor. 

"I'm so sorry!" Yuuri apologized. Leave it to him to have a revenge plot go wrong. Now his relationship with Victor would be even worse! Victor was already giving him the silent treatment! Yuuri should have minded his own business and left the two alone. How could he have been so stupid?

Victor looked down at the mess on his shirt. He didn't even bother to feel his hair, the food slipping down the side of his face was enough to tell him it was a mess. "It's okay. This was one of my favorite shirts, but it's fine. Don't worry about it too much," Victor said. Yuuri knew it was a lie though. He could tell that it really bothered Victor. How was he supposed to fix this disaster of a situation?

Yuuri grabbed Victor's hand and ran to the nearest bathroom. "Take off your shirt! I'll try my best to get the food off so it doesn't stain!" 

"You really don't have to worry about it that much," Victor said. He took a paper towel, or ten, and wiped the food off of his shirt, face, and hair. Needless to say that he'd be smelling like mystery meat and mashed potatoes for the rest of the day. It would probably make all of his classmates hungry. Hopefully they didn't resort to cannibalism. Yuuri would like to keep Victor alive for as long as possible. Cannibals are not welcome in this school, (not welcome to eat Victor anyway, but there are a couple of people Yuuri could recommend for eating if they really need someone to eat).

"I do have to worry about it that much because it's my fault! Let me clean your shirt!" Yuuri pleaded. He wasn't about to let Victor continue thinking this was planned. It wasn't planned, (not for Victor, that is) and he  _needed_  to get that point across!

"Look, Yuuri," Victor began, "you've already made it quite clear how you feel about me. This really isn't a big deal compared to that letter and the poem. I'll just change into my gym clothes and it'll be fine," Victor sighed and left Yuuri standing in the bathroom dumbfounded. What letter? What poem? What in the world was going on? Why was this the first time he was hearing of such a thing? 

In just one day Yuuri found Victor befriending a crazy flirt and had been told things he didn't even understand. Just how unlucky was he supposed to be? When would the world start turning in his favor? Yuuri sighed. Would he ever be able to get closer to Victor? Fate seemed to be against him. What letter was Victor talking about? He hadn't written a letter to anyone since 6th grade! Poem? Well, poems were a little more common. Most of them were about himself or just general frustrations. There weren't any about Vic-

Ah, no, that was a lie. There was  _one_  about Victor. 

Yuuri immediately got out his phone and called Phichit. "Phichit?" he asked, to ensure that the phone had been answered.

"Yes? What is it? You do realize that this is still a school day, right?" Phichit spoke, clearly annoyed.

"You still answered, didn't you?" Yuuri rolled his eyes, "Do you remember that one poem I wrote a really long time ago...please tell me you burned it like I asked you to."

"What poem?" Phichit asked. "Shit,  _that_  poem? Don't worry I've got this, leave it to me, I'll fix this mistake," Phichit hung up and Yuuri sighed. He should've burned the poem himself. Why did he even write it? It didn't help him in any way, especially not now that Victor had read it. Knowing his fangirls, they probably wrote a death threat and used his poem as ammunition for Victor to stay away. Why were humans like this? Yuuri just wanted to be close to Victor without any more issues. 

Yuui plopped down on the floor and let out a deep sigh. Things weren't looking good for him. Should he give up? Maybe it was because he was trying so hard that the world was working against him. 

"Is it just not meant to be?" he asked the universe, "But it felt so perfect in the short time that everything worked so well," he whispered as solitary tears escaped his eyes. 

"It was nice while it lasted...I suppose..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for this update.  
> Is anyone still reading this? (or rather, waiting to read this I should say)


	7. Seven

Victor laid down on his bed and thought long and hard about what the letter meant.  The more he thought, the more he realized that it couldn't have been Yuuri's doing. That wouldn't be Yuuri's style. The poem, maybe, it was clearly Yuuri's handwriting, but that didn't mean that it was about  _him_  specifically. It could've been about Yuuri himself. Insecure Yuuri talking to in-school Yuuri. Maybe it was aimed at another person entirely and somehow ended up in Victor's hands. There was no proof that it was  _for_  Victor so there was no reason for him to think Yuuri hated him, yet.

But how did that explain the incident earlier today? Was it truly an  _accident_  that Yuuri spilled his lunch all over Victor? Yuuri might be clumsy, but was he  _that_  level of clumsy? Maybe it was just one of those freak things that happens sometimes. Would Yuuri even stoop to that type of prank just to prove how much he didn't like someone? Victor always assumed that Yuuri was a hate-from-the-shadows kind of person. Could he be wrong? Well, there is always the possibility that he  _is_  wrong, he just preferred to think he understood Yuuri better than most.

Victor's phone buzzed next to his ear. He picked it up and stared at the screen confused. An unkown caller? How did that make sense? People rarely contacted him when they were his contacts. Why would someone he didn't know have business with him? Victor sighed and answered the phone, albeit reluctantly.

"Hello?" he asked the other side. 

"That poem was a hoax, you didn't even get the full thing. Check your locker tomorrow morning. It'll contain a letter with more explanation. I can't talk now, people are watching, don't forget to get the mail first thing, otherwise it could be tampered evidence," the caller, supposedly male, spoke and hung up. Victor stared at his phone, even more confused now, and sighed. 

What kind of call was that?

It sounded like a little kid pretending to be a spy. Could it have been the wrong number? Victor tried not to think about it too much. It would be better if he didn't. Thinking too hard just leads to disaster on his part. Holy crap, what if it was a real spy? Victor didn't want to think about what that might mean so he brushed the thought to the depths of his mind.

Victor's dog seemed to have noticed that Victor was sad, because he jumped up onto the bed carrying a box of tissues. Victor laughed and hugged the almighty Makkachin. "You're such a good boy," he cooed. Makkachin's tail wagged wildly at the praise. Victor tried to fight off his urge to cry, but the pupper knew better. 

"I don't know what to do," Victor poured his frustrations on the dog. Makkachin was a mighty fine listener after all. "Should I go on the offensive or the defensive? I just want Yuuri to be happy," he sobbed.

Makkachin tilted his head in the way of a parent and gave Victor a very 'I'm sure you know what you really have to do' look.

"But Makkachin!"

'No buts, except yours and mine. Are you saying you didn't like Yuuri enough to want to find out the truth? Are you happy with how it is now?'

Victor sighed. The almighty Makkachin made sense, and he wasn't even talking! But Victor had planned on skipping school tomorrow. He still smelled like mashed potatoes and mystery meat. Victor rolled on his stomach and screamed into his pillow. Why was living so difficult? He should've been a really popular ice skater that got Yuuri with confidence and good looks. Can he just switch over to that timeline instead? That would be great. He'd wear flashy pink outfits and blow kisses at the crowds. They'd have to love him. 

He forced the fantasy out of his mind and tried to remember what he had for homework. Well, if he didn't remember it must not exist. His grades weren't fantastic all the time anyway. What did it matter since this was the last year he'd have to worry about them? 

Victor had fallen asleep without meaning to and woke up without expecting to. Everything was just a blur till he got to school. He usually stopped by his locker first before doing anything else, and he hadn't even remembered the mysterious phone call from the wannabe spy. 

When something fell by his feet, that's when he remembered the events that had taken place. He looked at the note and then the second note (which turned out to be an explanation letter of apology). The first was the finishing stanza to the poem, apparently, it looked like it had been torn off from the original. Well, that makes sense. Fangirls are crazy things. But who went through the struggle of finding this small piece of paper just so Victor would feel better? He'd already decided that it wasn't Yuuri who did it, (even if it took him until yesterday to officially decide that).

But to say I hate you is a lie,   
I've never hated you one bit  
I've only loved you by and by  
and now I'll have to go down with this ship

The note explained how Yuuri had been completely obsessed with Victor freshman year but he knew it wouldn't get anywhere in his current state, so he gave up. A close friend (aka Phichit) had suggested that he turn his love into hatred instead and forget about Victor, but it didn't work. Yuuri could never bring himself to hate Victor and eventually decided that changing was the only solution, so he changed. 

Victor dropped everything he had been holding and he started running. He wasn't exactly sure where Yuuri was but he  _knew_  where Yuuri was (as a sort of instinct thing), so he ran there. He kept running till he found him and, of course, he  _did_  find him. The school day had just started and it was about to get it's juiciest piece of gossip.

"V-Victor?" Yuuri questioned as the silver-haired man came running towards him at full speed.

"Yuuri!" the fabulous male ran, jumped, hugged, and kissed Yuuri, but due to Newton's first law, the two fell right onto the cold hard ground. The sounds of flashing cameras and whispering fangirls buzzed around them.

But Victor couldn't have cared less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't expecting so many of you to still be reading this! I'll try my best to get back on an updating schedule for you guys. I feel as if my writing quality for this fic has dramatically decreased but I'm trying my best to keep it interesting in the plot (even if the style is trash).   
> I hope you all continue to read. c:  
> I give you full permission to hound me for updates in the comments (it's very motivating tbh).


	8. Eight

Everywhere Victor went he could hear the whispering of people around him. He sighed. He really shouldn't have done that. He should've controlled himself better. But sometimes a guy has to do what a guy has to do. Besides, at what other time would he have had the insanity rushing through his veins to make him willing to do that? It was a once in a lifetime feeling that  _must_  be acted upon. 

Phichit, wearing sunglasses, followed by a group of fangirls, began walking through the hallways blasting "we are the champions" and singing "we are victuuri-ous" in tune with it. Victor wanted to dig a ditch and die in it, but unfortunately he couldn't do that. Yuuri had avoided him the whole day, with good reason, and Victor was still trying to figure out a way to apologize to Yuuri for kissing him. Yuuri wasn't avoiding Victor because he hated him, but because he was in shock that the kiss took place. Victor didn't know this, of course, and it was likely that he'd never find out. Due to his ignorance, he had no choice but to formulate some sort of apology, ( _if_  he could ever build up the courage to apologize).

"I can't believe you really did that," Christophe snickered.

"And _I_ can't believe you have it on film," Victor hid his face in his hands, "can you delete that, please?"

"Are you saying you don't want this beautiful picture?" Christophe shoved his phone in Victor's face. It was a lovely snapshot of Victor on top of Yuuri kissing him with his arms around his neck.

"My lord and savior, Christ, do you want my arm, leg, both, or my soul?" Victor asked. He  _needed_  that picture. Forget embarrassment, that was a masterpiece right there and he  _needed_  it to be the home-screen for his phone, (the lock-screen was already taken by a different picture of Yuuri, so the home-screen was all he had left).

"I'll think about it," Christophe teased. Victor chose plan B. He started trying to snatch Christophe's phone out of his hand, to no avail. Meanwhile, an individual narrowly escaped death. She had just lost her balance due to Christophe's constant dodging and her tray went flying in a direction that would've gotten her killed. 

It's a good thing we have a handy-dandy Victor around to save the day. Let's all give him a good round of applause.  

Victor saw the tray fly and he used his Olympic running technique (previously displayed this morning) to block the food from its original course. Fantastic skills, except for the fact that in the process he once again pushed Yuuri to the ground. Yuuri could do nothing else but stare up at Victor's smiling face. Food was trailing down the sides of his body and Victor could feel the mystery meat juices on his back. Great, just what he needed, another day of smelling like mystery meat and mashed potatoes. He might as well make it his cologne. 

"Are you okay?" Victor asked.

Yuuri, too stunned to respond since his brain was only thinking about the earlier occasion today in which he had been pushed to the ground by Victor, didn't say anything. His face went from light pink, to dark pink, to beat red, and steam was sure to be escaping his ears. Victor wasn't sure what to do about this.

"Did I break him? I think I broke him," Victor mumbled as he heard the sounds of pictures being taken. This was not the best idea, but he couldn't allow Yuuri to experience the humiliation of smelling like mystery meat and mashed potatoes! Some things are worth their consequences. He was determined to be Yuuri's knight in shining armor, regardless of the amounts of gossip that would ensue afterwards.

"Uh, can someone get the majority of the food off of me? I can't really move until it's gone or it'll just hit the floor..." Victor asked. 

"I'm really sorry!" the girl who had lost her balance apologized. She grabbed a bunch of napkins and tried to get the food off as best she could. Yuuri.exe was still unresponsive.

"It's fine, it's fine," Victor stood up and attempted to console the girl, "I'll just wear my gym clothes again," Victor turned back to the Yuuri who was still dying on the floor and grabbed his hand to help him up. Yuuri was still not back to planet earth, so Victor picked him up (bridal style) and plopped him down at his normal lunch table. Yuri poked Yuuri's cheek and the others joined in until the guy gave some sort of response. Victor decided that Yuuri was in good hands and went to change his clothes. There was nothing more he could do.

Wait.

He just gave more opportunity for strange pictures by picking Yuuri up bridal style...

Victor, why did you not think before you acted? 

"Did you get a picture of that, Christ?" Victor asked. Christophe grinned in response.

"If I did, do you think I'd give it to you without some sort of payment? I must remind you that I have  _two_  remarkable photos you seek to possess."

"I thought Christ was the one who did the paying on the cross. Why do I have to pay for a picture or two now?" Victor frowned.

"Only those who repent can gain access to the glories of heaven," Christophe snickered. He might as well play along with Victor's allusion, even if he hated the nickname.

"My darling Christophe," Victor batted his eyelashes, "won't you please send me those two fantastic photos? Please? I promise to give you some of my dad's delicious homemade cookies the next time he makes them."

"You make a good bargain, but cookies aren't going to cut it," Christophe shook his head, "need I remind you that there are  _two_  photos?"

Victor frowned, "Tch, I guess there is no stopping it," he crossed his arms before continuing, "I'll throw in a signed photograph of my brother."

Christophe smiled, "Pleasure doing business with you."

"Yeah, yeah, just send me the pictures already!!!" Victor complained. Christophe complied and for the rest of the day Victor was yelled at constantly by the teachers for 'being on his phone too much.' Perhaps Christophe should've waited till  _after_  school before sending the pictures...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my really bad habit of making everything a crossover is about to reveal itself in the next chapter. ^^" I'm really sorry but I couldn't help it...it was just too perfect...


	9. Nine

Light allowed itself through the window and rested peacefully on Victor's face. His eyes fluttered open and the illusion of an angel's face was the first thing that Victor saw. The rays of sun created an image of a halo hovering above the smiling male that looked down upon him. Victor found himself smiling back at the glasses-wearing Yuuri. He figured this was nothing but a dream and immediately grabbed Yuuri's shirt to pull him down into a kiss. What's this? He could  _feel_  Yuuri? Was this not a dream?

Victor let go of Yuuri's shirt and jumped off the bed to hide underneath it. He apologized repeatedly for his mistake but assured Yuuri that he was awake now and wouldn't do it ever again. Yuuri laid down on the floor and looked at Victor's apologetic self. Yuuri couldn't stop himself from blushing and he certainly couldn't make eye contact but he didn't seem to have a problem with it.

"It's, uh, not that big of a deal," Yuuri tried to comfort the poor Victor. Thoughts poured into Victor's brain one by one as he fully awakened. #1 Yuuri was in his house. #2 Yuuri wasn't an illusion. #3 He had just kissed Yuuri for the second time in a span of two days. #4 How in the world did Yuuri know where he lived? #5 How in the world did Yuuri get inside the house? #6 Yuuri was in Victor's room watching him sleep and hadn't woken him up. #7 There must not be school today if Yuuri was wearing glasses and being his 'out of school' nervous self. #8 Really though, how did Yuuri get here and how did Yuuri know  _how_  to get here?!

"I have a friend that's really good at finding out information, so that's how I found out about where you lived, but I wasn't expecting your parents to be so nice. They just let me in without asking any real questions or even waking you up first. Are they always that carefree?"

"Oh god, you met my parents," Victor rolled further underneath the bed and banged his head up against the wall. If there was one thing he knew for certain about his parents it was that they couldn't last two seconds without saying something super embarrassing.

"I promise they didn't say anything too bad," Yuuri lied. They gave him juicy details about Victor's life but Victor didn't need to know that.

"Victor," a voice said as the door to Victor's room opened. A blue-haired boy walked into the room and slid an envelope to Victor. He didn't seem surprised that Victor was in hiding. That made Yuuri wonder if this was his natural state of being. "I signed the photo for you so you better keep your promise. I want a full cake, not a slice. Don't expect me to do this for you again. I don't care how much you wanted your ki-" Victor's hand shot out from underneath the bed and covered his brother's mouth.

"Are you an idiot?" Victor glared before removing his hand.

"You mean this is  _that_  Yuuri? He looks nothing like you said he did," the brother whispered.

"Will you just get out of my room already?" Victor continued to glare at his brother from underneath the bed.

"That's no way to treat someone who just saved your life," the brother sighed and exited the room. He was sure to close the door on his way out.

"So, Yuuri, what brings you here?" Victor asked. He was still hiding from Yuuri from the safety of his bed, despite the fact that Yuuri was still on the floor and could see him perfectly.

"I didn't know you had a brother," Yuuri said.

"I actually have three," Victor explained, "it gets tricky since that one has a twin and I have a twin."

"You have a t-twin?" Yuuri asked, completely dumbfounded. 

"Mhmm," Victor confirmed, "I have little brothers all around. Ciel, the one that you just met, has a twin named Leic and I have a twin named Viktor. Viktor with a 'k.' We usually just call him Vikky though. My dad was kind of, well, lazy with the naming."

"I'm not sure whether to be surprised or confused," Yuuri said. "Wait, doesn't that mean your little brothers are the Satanic Siblings?! How did I not know this before?!"

"It's not something I talk about very often," Victor sighed, "if I did everyone would be asking for tickets to the next concert or autographs."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Yuuri apologized. He decided to go back to his original goal for coming here. What was that again? Well aside from wanting to know what Victor's room looked like and what his family was like, Yuuri didn't have a  _real_  reason for being here. He was surprised with himself for coming uninvited, without a real excuse as to how he knew where Victor lived, as well as no reason to be here. What was even more surprising is that he decided to visit Victor so soon after what had happened in school the day before. 

"We need to talk," Yuuri began. He decided the kiss was a great excuse as to why he came and just rolled with it.

"I'm really sorry I kissed you like that in front of everyone," Victor, once again, repeatedly banged his head up against the wall whilst underneath his bed. "I know you probably have better suitors than a guy who can't seem to get the smell of mystery meat and mashed potatoes off of him, I'm sorry," he continued to find ways to apologize while injuring his head. 

Yuuri rolled underneath the bed too and attacked Victor from behind. He hugged Victor and smiled even though he knew that Victor couldn't see it, "I happen to like mashed potatoes but not as much as I like you."

The words took a while to process in Victor's mind but he felt like he already knew Yuuri's feelings. If he hadn't forgotten the contents of the letter he'd received in the locker yesterday, he would remember that it contained information about Yuuri's obsession with him. Unfortunately, Victor's brain had blocked that information out for some reason and all he could experience at the moment was shock. 

Victor rolled over to face Yuuri, "Will you date me?" his eager expression threw Yuuri for a loop. He wasn't expecting  _that_  type of response, but he wasn't exactly sure what type of response he  _was_  expecting. Yuuri attempted to nod but his mind fried itself and he ended up becoming a bobble head of embarrassment. 

"Dad! I couldn't hear very well but I'm pretty sure it's canon now!" Ciel yelled to his parent from outside Victor's room. Victor couldn't resist the urge to crawl over Yuuri and run out his room to go beat up his little brother for spying on him again. The bewildered Yuuri had nothing to do but stare at the wall underneath Victor's bed. He wasn't sure if what had just happened was real or not, but he smiled, hoping that it was. 


	10. Ten

Yuuri looked down at his sweaty hands and refused to make eye contact with any of the people around him. On the left side of the table sat the two adorable Satanic Siblings. Yuuri couldn't look at them without wanting to hug them. On the right side of the table sat Victor and Viktor. That was like Victor squared and there was no possible way that Yuuri was going to look at either of them. Then, at the opposing end of the table sat Vincent and Adrian. The only thing Yuuri could do was look at Adrian. Everyone else was far too attractive for him. Adrian had multiple scars, long bangs covering his eyes, and unruly hair that was a shade slightly darker than Victor's. In other words: he was perfect for staring at.

Vincent snickered, "Why do all your friends always do this?" he asked, "I'm sorry to break it to you, Yuuri, but Adrian is probably the  _most_  attractive one here," Vincent lifted up Adrian's bangs to reveal his face. A holy light emitted from him that Yuuri couldn't describe in words. Yuuri was blinded by the beauty, and now he completely understood why the bangs were overgrown. If a man as handsome as that walked outside he would blind everybody and begin to rule the world with his overflowing attractiveness. His eyes were probably Yuuri's favorite thing about Adrian in the short time that he saw his face. They were chartreuse and seemed to glow all on their own. He'd never seen eyes like those before.

Yuuri was dreading the fact that he'd agreed to stay for dinner. He should've left before things got too out of hand. Maybe it would've been a better idea to go to Victor's house as 'in-school' Yuuri. He felt too out of place sitting at this table with his glasses, messy hair, and sweatpants. Everyone around him was made from the divine essence of beauty, and he was just, well,  _here_.

"Dad, don't scare Yuuri away. This is the first time he has ever been here, be nice so he comes back," Leic frowned. 

"We'll never be able to get friends to stay over if you're always so  _weird_  about it," Ciel sighed.

Viktor, who looked exactly like Victor except for the fact that his hair was just as long as Adrian's (if not longer), couldn't care less about Yuuri. He was too busy digging into the food. Apparently, Viktor was leaving to go study abroad. Who cares about America when you can meet hot guys in England? Yuuri agreed with that sentiment. Vincent and his twin sons were very attractive and they still spoke with a British accent despite the fact that they'd lived in America so long. Adrian was a mystery box. Yuuri couldn't figure out anything about his ancestry. Victor squared should be somewhat Russian, (from what Yuuri knew in his research of Victor). Maybe their mother was Russian. What happened to the mothers in this family? This was both Vincent and Adrian's second marriage. Was it divorce? Was it death? Yuuri was confused but he didn't want to ask any uncomfortable questions. 

"Yuuri," Victor waved his hand in front of Yuuri's face to get his attention, "are you okay? Do you not want to eat?"

Yuuri flinched, "I'm fine," he replied, although it was clear how flustered he was. If he couldn't get over the fact that the attractive Victor was his boyfriend now, he would never manage to feel comfortable in a family filled with equally attractive people. Sitting here made Yuuri so self-conscious that he couldn't function. 

The meal dragged on. Yuuri attempted to focus on eating and not talking. However, he wasn't sure what exactly it was that he was eating since his mind was thinking about everything  _but_  food. Yuuri sighed. Why did he decide this was a good idea? 

Everyone finished, eventually, and just when Yuuri thought he was free from his self-induced torture, Vincent asked him to help wash dishes. Yuuri stared at the dish in his hands as if it was going to assassinate him and cleaned it to the best of his ability. These dishes were so nice that he ended up spending way too much time cleaning a single dish. He wanted it spotless since it was such a quality specimen. 

"You're so stiff," Vincent laughed, "I'm not going to eat you."

Yuuri laughed albeit nervously, "Is that a promise?"

"Oh dear, were you really concerned about me eating you? I hereby promise that I'm not a cannibal," he replied, "although, I'm not sure I can say the same for Adrian."

"What?!"

"I'm kidding," Vincent smiled, "or am I?"

"I'm never coming back here," Yuuri mumbled as he scrubbed the dish in his hands, "this is a danger zone."

"Oh, you'll be back," Vincent assured him, "you can't stay away from us forever. Especially not if you want to marry my darling boy."

"M-marriage?!" Yuuri dropped the plate in his hands and prepared himself for the sound of shattering glass. However, the noise never came. Vincent had caught the plate with his foot.

"That was a close one," Vincent picked up the plate with his hand and placed it back in the sink.

"How did you do that?" Yuuri found himself asking. Was he a sorcerer? A demon? Or did he really just have fantastic reflexes?

"I'm simple one  _hell_  of a father," Vincent winked, "and Adrian is especially clumsy due to his overgrown bangs. He is always walking into walls or tripping over things."

Yuuri was impressed with the fact that Victor's two fathers still seemed so in love with each other. He wondered if Yuuri and Victor would always be that happy. Yuuri blushed. Damn Vincent, putting the seeds of marriage into his brain. Now Yuuri would be thinking about Victor as his husband all night.

"Yuuri," Adrian stepped into the kitchen, "it's gotten pretty late, do you want to spend the night and go back home in the morning?"

"Huh?" Yuuri's glasses slipped off the side of his face as if to respond to his shock. Spend the night? In Victor's house? What if he slept in the same bed as Victor? Yuuri wasn't mentally prepared for that! 

"That's a great idea," Vincent agreed. Yuuri panicked inwardly. He didn't have a say in this matter anymore. RIP Yuuri Katsuki. This  _would_  be the death of him.


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so bad ;-; I'm sorry ahead of time...

"Are you sure you want to sleep in the same bed?" Victor asked for the thousandth time, "I can sleep on the floor. I've done it before."

"Yes, I'm fine," Yuuri confirmed once again, "I don't want you sleeping on the floor because of me. I'm sure I can handle it. But if you wake up and I'm unresponsive, just know that my soul has gone to heaven and I'm never returning to planet earth again."

"Yuuri," Victor cried and hugged Yuuri without warning, "I don't want you to die!" Yuuri didn't respond. His body went limp, his face went red, and he passed out right then and there. Victor placed him on the bed and poked his cheek in concern.

"I should probably learn how to stop breaking him like that," Victor sighed, "I'm sorry I'm not a good boyfriend, Yuuri!" he apologized to the unresponsive noodle. Victor turned off the light and got underneath the covers. He hoped that Yuuri wouldn't sleep too terribly and that everything would be fine in the morning. 

Victor was wide awake. He couldn't decide whether or not hugging Yuuri as he slept would be too creepy. He really wanted to but he also knew that'd he had been overloading Yuuri with his clingy-ness. Maybe he should sleep on the floor after all. No, Yuuri specifically told him not to. Victor closed his eyes and tried his best to suppress the urge to cuddle Yuuri. The male beside him began to lightly snore. Victor assumed that his moment of unconsciousness had just morphed into sleep. How tragic. Yuuri had fallen asleep before him. Now what was Victor supposed to do?

Victor lifted the blanket ever so slightly to try and get out of the bed. The sleeping Yuuri wouldn't allow this and clung to Victor's arm. His eyebrows furrowed and he mumbled, "No sleep on floor." Was Yuuri some time of superhuman? He was only leaving to go get a drink of water but sleeping Yuuri wasn't going to take any risks.

Victor, currently too stunned to do anything, placed the blanket back in it's original position and suffered silently as he laid there next to Yuuri whilst unable to sleep. Why did Adrian have to suggest that Yuuri spend the night? Was this some kind of next level torture? Victor sobbed inwardly. He wanted to cuddle Yuuri so badly but he couldn't move now or it would wake Yuuri up. Unless Yuuri was a heavy sleeper, but Victor didn't want to test that theory. He figured playing it safe was the best option.

"Victor," Yuuri mumbled and snuggled up against Victor's arm, "smells good." Who knew that Yuuri sleep talked? Certainly not Victor. He wished desperately that his phone was closer to his bed so that he could record this. Sleep talking Yuuri was adorable. Well, all forms of Yuuri were adorable. Yuuri was adorable. Period. 

Would Yuuri answer if Victor asked him a question? There was only one way to find out. "Yuuri, is it okay if I cuddle you while you sleep?" Victor asked. Yuuri giggled in response.

"We're boyfriends, of course it's okay," he replied. Wow. So he did respond if someone asked him something. His answers seemed super honest too. However, Victor couldn't stop himself from blushing at the fact that Yuuri had said 'boyfriends.' It's a good thing Yuuri wasn't awake to see that.

"Yuuri, do you love me?" Victor asked.

"I do."

"How much?"

"I love Victor lots and lots."

Victor continued to ask Yuuri random questions until he got so tired that the fact he was sleeping in the same bed as Yuuri didn't bother him anymore. The two slept soundly in each other's arms until they were rudely awakened by the sounds of pictures being taken. Vincent refused to miss this great photo opportunity and snapped as many pictures of the couple as he could. 

Yuuri sleepily opened his eyes and sat up. He was confused about what was happening and didn't respond at all. However, as soon as Victor woke up, Vincent immediately ran out of the room. Victor angrily chased after his dad with his Olympic running skills and Yuuri could hear the sounds of Victor's complaints. Yuuri was still too tired to process anything that had just happened. He rubbed his eyes and laid right back in the bed. As soon as his head hit Victor's pillow he escaped to dreamland.

"I'm really sorry about my da-" Victor instinctively grabbed his phone and took a picture of Yuuri hugging his pillow and lightly snoring. Like father like son. He couldn't help himself from the art of stalker-like picture taking. It runs in the family.

"Are you not a morning person?" Victor asked. Yuuri growled in response. "That's so cute," Victor swooned. His love and affection for Yuuri was only growing with every passing moment. He wondered if this was what it was like for Vincent and Adrian too. Probably not, Victor's parents are weird. 

"Victor," Ciel said as he burst into Victor's room, "Are you coming with us to drop Vikky off at the airport?"

"He is leaving  _today_?!" 

"Yes, he is leaving today, haven't you been counting the days like the rest of us?" Ciel rolled his eyes. "You're such an idiot."

"When are we leaving?" Victor asked.

"We are leaving right now. Grab your boyfriend get some shoes on," Ciel walked out and immediately began complaining about Victor's idiocy to Leic. Brothers these days.

"I'm sorry but we have to go," Victor gently shook Yuuri but he was unresponsive. Yuuri rolled over and hid his face in the pillow. Victor wanted to let him sleep but he had been given specific instructions to wake him up. There was only one thing to do now: carry him. Victor rolled Yuuri up in his blanket like a burrito and carried him out the door. Everyone piled into the car and they went to the airport. Yuuri didn't wake up until the drive back home was halfway over.

"Wait," Yuuri blinked and rubbed his eyes, "this isn't Victor's bedroom," he yawned. Everyone in the car laughed, except Ciel, because Ciel is a party pooper.


	12. Twelve

Since the first time that Yuuri had been to Victor's house, he'd returned almost every weekend. Yuuri had sworn that he would never go back to that place, and yet he always did. There was something about the atmosphere of being surrounded by Victor's family that made things strangely comfortable. Maybe he was just secretly planning to become a part of their family. Well, in a way he already was. Vincent already thought of him as a son-in-law, but that's not really the point.

"Hello!~" Viktor said from behind the screen. He was skyping everybody from England. 

"What is it like over there? Are you having a good time?" Vincent asked. 

"You're asking him as if you have never been to England. You were born and raised there," Ciel pointed out.

"That is irrelevant," Vincent frowned. 

"I'm having a great time, as a matter of fact," Viktor leaned in closer to the laptop and whispered, "my roommate is super cute too."

"Ooooo," Vincent, Leic, and Victor all said in unison. Ciel just sighed while Adrian snickered. Yuuri was too confused to do anything. No one would sway him from Victor, no matter how attractive he was. Besides, everyone in this family was already top tier attractive level.

"Sebastian, come over here for a second," Viktor waved his roommate over. Surprisingly, the roommate obliged.

"Hello Viktor's family," Sebastian waved. Yuuri felt betrayed. Here was another top tier attractive person! Was it because he was British? Maybe it was because he was British. No! Yuuri! Victor is the only attractive person you have to worry about!

"Hello, Sebastian," everyone said in unison, except Ciel, remember, we have already established that Ciel poops on all the parties. 

"He is a real big fan of the Satanic Siblings! He has tons of merch," Viktor smirked.

"I can't believe you said that," Sebastian sighed.

"You're the one wearing a shirt with my brothers on it," Viktor shrugged. 

Sebastian looked down at his shirt, "Shit, you're right. I completely forgot I had this on."

Leic snickered and Ciel rolled his eyes. Ciel wasn't phased by the fan-base anymore. He couldn't care less about anything that happened in his life. Ciel was completely and totally uninterested in everything, (poops on all the parties, I'm tellin' ya). Leic, on the other hand, was completely and totally interested in  _everything_. Viktor's roommate was one of those said things.

"I'm so happy to know that someone as hot as you is our fan," Leic smiled. Yuuri internally screamed. Was everyone in this family a flirt? Did they all do this on purpose? Was Yuuri forever going to be tormented by the fact that he wasn't ever going to be as smooth as everyone in this room, (including the people on the screen). Maybe he needed to step up his game a notch. That's right Yuuri, it is time for you to practice flirting in the bathroom while talking to yourself in the mirror. You've got this.

"Is everyone in your family like this?" Sebastian pointed to Leic through the computer.

"Like what?" Viktor asked, clearly confused. Sebastian sighed. Yuuri internally cried tears of joy for the fact that someone else understood his pain. Thank you, Sebastian. Sebastian might be in a totally different country but at least Yuuri felt like he had a kindred spirit now. He knew he wasn't crazy. It's just this family. This family is the strange thing.

"Can you take Sebastian home with you during your next trip home?" Vincent pleaded, "He is so good looking I want to see him in person!" This comment earned Vincent a nice elbow in the ribs from Adrian. 

"Don't swoon over attractive younger men right in front of me," Adrian frowned.

"But look at him," Vincent gestured, "he is carved from the essence of attractive! I want to see it in person. I can't deny the facts."

"I agree," Yuuri nodded in approval, "I too find myself wanting to see this beauty in person."

"Okay, I know he is nice looking, but does this mean I have competition?" Victor questioned. Yuuri didn't answer right away which made Victor concerned. "Are you going to break up with me for Sebastian?" he sobbed and clung to Yuuri.

"No," Yuuri patted Victor's head, "it's not like that. It's more like when you know about a fine piece of art and decide to go to the museum to see it in person. I just want to admire the Mona Lisa face-to-face even though I already know it's a god-level piece of art."

Sebastian laughed albeit nervously, "The only one who hasn't said anything about how I look so far is Ciel. Should I be prepared for the ultimate roast now? To balance it all out?" Everyone in Victor's family gasped and went silent for a moment. Sebastian began to wonder if he had said something wrong. He hadn't, but the shock of what he  _had_  said made everyone a little on edge, (including Yuuri, even though Yuuri didn't know what had just happened).

"We didn't introduce ourselves yet," Leic whispered.

"And he already knew which was which," Ciel said.

"Nobody besides their own father has been able to do that so far," Victor said, "since Vikky and I have the same name it didn't really matter if someone got it right or wrong. Although, I cut my hair so people have been able to tell now. Plus, we haven't gone to the same school in years so no one knows we even have a twin. But Ciel and Leic are a completely different story."

"Have we just met god?" Viktor questioned. He turned to look at his roommate with great concern. "Are you the second coming? Is there something I need to know about you, Sebastian?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Is this really that strange?" Sebastian scratched the back of his neck as a sort of nervous tic, "I guess I'm just too observant for my own good. Ever since that one stage accident Ciel's right eye has had an extremely slight purple tint to it. But the two don't give off the same aura so it's not like it's hard to tell which one is which."

"It does?!" Leic grabbed Ciel's face and examined it really closely. He couldn't see the tint at all.

"Are you making things up?" Adrian asked as he also took a look at Ciel's face.

"He's right," Vincent confirmed.

"Are you absolutely positive? I can't see it at all," Victor said. 

Ciel sighed. He was the main attraction for the rest of the skype call and for the rest of the week. Everyone was trying their very best to try and see the mysterious purple tint. Ciel hated Sebastian for bringing it up. Okay, well, not really, Ciel hadn't even noticed it himself and he stayed up fairly late that night trying to figure it out. How was it even possible for his eye to get a tint to it? The accident wasn't even that bad. Maybe it really was just a fluke that Sebastian made up. Or maybe Sebastian just saw things that no one else could. But Vincent claimed to see it too, so the tint must really be there. 

And so, the family was thoroughly confused for the next week or so. After that, they all just gave up and stopped trying. Ciel breathed a sigh of relief when that moment finally came. How was he going to get revenge on Sebastian for causing this ruckus in his life? Well, one day he would figure it out. One day...eventually...if he even remembered that he wanted to get revenge in the first place. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start writing about Otabek and Yuri starting in the next chapter.
> 
> This chapter was really only written so I could set up Sebaciel (lol) but I figured I should quit while I'm ahead and just never do that ever because this would become a nightmare (and a disappointment) for all eight readers I have out there.
> 
> In any case, I'm taking a break from Victuuri because I need time to think about them, so look forward to Otayuri!!!
> 
> I have a very general idea of where Victuuri is going to go but I still need a gap before what I want to happen happens...it's not exactly the climax of the fic but it's kind of the climax to the fic. 
> 
> Stick with me bros, (or don't, I mean, I won't force you).


	13. Dreizehn

Otabek Altin is a rather simple character. He gets up in the morning, he goes to school, he goes back to his lonely apartment, and he repeats the actions the next day. Nothing out of the ordinary ever happened to him. He is slow to anger and a fairly agreeable person. He never felt strongly one way or the other for most of his life. That simple fact changed the moment he met Yuri Plisetsky. It was a simple hallway pass. The traditional movie exaggeration. Otabek walked down the hallway and Yuri was coming towards him. The light shined on his hair in just the right manner and the draft in the school blew his hair in just the right fashion. He looked so much like an angel that Otabek almost felt so unholy that he might as well stop by the church on his way home.

It was in that moment that Otabek decided he should become friends with Yuri. And, as if some trick of the gods, they ended up sitting right next to each other in class. Yuri had just so happened to forget his pencil and the two ended up getting into a conversation. It was a simple conversation about nothing, but it had left such an impression on Yuri that the two ended up having those said simple conversations every day. The conversations then turned into text messages which then turned into hanging out and planning things to do together. Otabek was fine with this level of intimacy. He couldn't ask anything more of Yuri than this simple friendship. He was 100% okay with being in the friendzone. 

Otabek had spent most of his life there. He was never a man of many words and could never find the right time, place, or method of confessing to get his point across that he liked someone. He was perfectly satisfied with watching over that person from the safety of friendship. He was okay with the idea that the individual would move on with his/her life and form a relationship with someone else in the future. Otabek was fine with this. He figured no one would ever return his feelings so he had come to terms with this fact a long time ago. Otabek simply wasn't made of boyfriend material, apparently.

Besides, Yuri wasn't interested in having a boyfriend. Yuri was feminine in nature. He had looks that could trap any unsuspecting male. He'd been confessed to too many times under the illusion that Yuri was a female. It was like some strange field of vision corrupted people's eyes and forced them to believe that Yuri was a girl. He wasn't. He wasn't even close. Eventually he decided to fix this terrible image people had of him by making his personality unbearable. He cursed, ate messily, smelled bad, and did anything else he could possibly do to get people to stop the curse of crushing on him. Yes, he was beautiful, but if he made himself ugly at the core perhaps it would all cancel out. 

Otabek knew that Yuri would never want a relationship with him. If he confessed in any way to Yuri in the state of mind that Yuri was currently in, Yuri would feel betrayed. So, Otabek had no choice but to silently suffer. He was used to this, and this lifestyle was fine since it was the way it had always been. Everyone that knew Otabek called him 'Iron Heart' in secret. Everyone could tell how much he cared for Yuri, except Yuri himself. Otabek was the man above all men and was well respected for silently waiting for his feelings to be noticed and accepted. He was a role model for all, (even though he didn't know about his fan-base in the slightest).

"I'm surprised you haven't found a girlfriend yet," Yuri said. Yuuri spit out his drink and began coughing at Yuri's statement. He felt bad for Otabek since he knew what it was like to have feelings for someone and expect them to never be returned, (although now he has a boyfriend so...funny how that works).

"I feel so bad for Otabek," Victor said, but only loud enough for Yuuri to hear.

"I'm not interested," Otabek answered. He seemed completely unphased by the statement. Otabek is an inspiration to us all.

"Not interested in a relationship?" Yuri asked. 

"Not interested in a girlfriend," Otabek began, "I'm gay, Yuri," he clarified. Yuuri once again spit out his drink. He wasn't expected Otabek to out himself so nonchalantly. That's the 'Iron Heart' for you. But, would Yuri take it okay? Did he have a thing against gay people? Or just people that tried to get with him?

"Really?" Yuri seemed surprised. Well, of course he would. Yuri was completely dense with things that concerned Otabek. "Do you have a type?" Yuuri didn't spit out his drink this time. He came close, but he managed to keep it under control.

Otabek glanced at Yuri before looking back at his phone, "Dumb blondes," he answered. Yuuri snorted and Victor laughed.

"Why do I feel like I was just insulted?" Yuri frowned. 

"It's okay, you'll understand when you're older," Victor comforted, (or at least tried to).

"What is that supposed to mean?" Yuri glared.

"Don't worry about it too much," Otabek stood up and ruffled Yuri's hair before going to throw away his trash. He liked being able to spend time with Yuri during lunch and in a class or two, but sometimes it was more painful than enjoyable. Random questions would come up like this on a daily basis. Otabek wasn't sure if Yuri was trying to figure something out and just wanted to do it in the most indirect way possible, or if Yuri was just really curious about the strangest things. In any case, Otabek wished that it would all be over soon and that Yuri would go back to being how he was without all the strange questions. Actually, maybe Yuri always had a fascination with asking Otabek questions. Otabek hadn't really paid attention to it before. He had only noticed it recently with the increase in questions about what Otabek liked in a partner. Could it be that Yuri was beginning to form feelings for him after all this time?

No, it's not good to think things like this. Otabek cannot fantasize or the harshness of reality will hit him much harder later.  It's better to ignore whatever hope he has or it'll bite him back in the future. Otabek sighed. One day, he might break out of the perpetual friendzone. Eventually. Probably the day he died.


	14. Vierzehn

There was a thunderstorm in the weather forecast tonight. Otabek bought extra candles just in case. He sat in his apartment at his kitchen table alone, with matches, staring at the candles and looking out the window. He was mentally preparing himself for the harshness of reality. He wasn't expecting Yuri to drop by that night. He wasn't expecting for the power to actually go out either. But he did and it did.

There was a knock at his door. This wasn't unusual. He hoped that maybe he'd just imagined it, but he was wrong. Apparently today was a day meant for everyone's misery. Yuri stood at the door with a crestfallen look on his face. He didn't ask to come in, Otabek just offered. Otabek didn't know what had happened but it must've been something terrible if Yuri was here without warning.

"My..." Yuri's voice cracked and he could barely speak, "my grandpa..." he tried again. Otabek understood the struggle of wanting to speak but being unable to. Something terrible must've happened to Yuri's grandpa if he was here. Otabek didn't know what it was like to have a family member love you that much. He didn't know what it was like to love a family member so much that when something happened to them your heart had no choice but to be torn in two. Otabek's family wasn't anything like that. In fact, at times, he wished they all were dead.

Otabek led Yuri into his home and had him sit down at the kitchen table. Yuri stared at all of the candles while Otabek made a cup of tea for him. It began to rain lightly outside. Otabek could hear the raindrops falling on the roof.

After placing the cup in front of Yuri, Otabek sat down on the opposing side. He folded his hands and allowed Yuri to say whatever it was that he needed to say, or to not say anything at all. Otabek didn't force anything out of him. He was too distracted by what was going on outside to worry about Yuri. Otabek felt bad about this but he didn't know how to control it. It was all he could do to keep the memories lurking in the back of his mind from surfacing. 

"Are you okay?" Yuri asked. Otabek was serving as a marvelous distraction from Yuri's own troubles. He was now worrying about Otabek instead of his grandfather. "You're gripping your hands together so tightly that your knuckles have gone white."

Otabek nodded, but Yuri wasn't convinced. The rain began to pour a little more harshly. Thunder could be heard too. Otabek only wished that the power wouldn't go out this time. He couldn't handle that. Otabek stared outside the window. It could be seen from where he was sitting. The light sky flashed, the rain poured, and the thunder boomed. He hated every minute of it.

"Do you hate thunderstorms?" Yuri asked, even though the answer was obvious. Although, the rainstorm wasn't the part that Otabek hated. He hated remembering all the things he'd sworn to forget. Otabek stood up and tried to get his mind off of it. But the thunder boomed once more and he was caught off guard. The sky had darkened drastically in the past few minutes. Otabek leaned up against the door's frame. His face as pale as a ghost's.

He could clearly see in his mind's eye the door, the darkness, and the younger version of himself stuck there. Each time the thunder boomed he was reminded of the constant pounding on the door and the yelling his father did. It had been raining at those times too. He didn't remember doing anything wrong, but he must've if they hated him so. 

The day he came out of the closet they forced him back in.

Otabek's memories had unsettled him so much that he'd forgotten to breathe while standing. Darkness crept into his vision and he fell backwards onto the cold hard floor. Yuri hovered over him, even more concerned now, shaking him lightly and yelling his name. The power went out at the moment Otabek's eyes reopened. He held back his desire to scream and was frozen stiff instead. 

_We're kicking you out the moment you're old enough to be considered an adult. I never want to see your filthy face again. Do you understand?_

_We aren't going to talk about this **ever**. As far as I know you're still my perfect straight little boy and we'll pretend everything is fine. But, you're leaving this house and you're never coming back, or this will be the least of your worries._

_We're disowning you._

_You're not an Altin anymore._

It's been eight years and Otabek still hasn't forgotten that night. He hates himself for it but he knows the memories will never stop haunting him. Something like that shouldn't have been the reaction. He was only ten. He wasn't even a teenager yet. He was still a child. To be so harshly rejected in a stage when you aren't even fully developed leaves a wound that is constantly bleeding.

Otabek covered his face with his arm. Yuri lit a candle. "Otabek?" he questioned. There was no response. Otabek didn't know how to respond without losing the last piece of himself he had under control. He couldn't say a single thing.

 _If it's possible for a mother to hate her own child then it's possible the child will never be loved by anyone_.

"I'm sorry," Otabek mumbled.  _For being born._ "I'm sorry..." Otabek repeated.  _For turning out to be a disappointment._

Yuri could tell that Otabek was in a place that was no longer in the present. He couldn't tell what kind of world Otabek was lost in, but it wasn't this one, and it wasn't a good one either. Yuri placed the candle on the floor and grabbed Otabek's hand. He wasn't sure what else to do. Otabek had always been the one supporting him. He figured the roles should change for once, it was only fair. 

Sometimes in order to comfort someone you just have to  _be_  there. No words have to be said because words can't always express the feelings inside. No words can comfort because the words that are usually said aren't comforting anyway.  No, it's not going to get better. No, things won't change. No, life won't open up another door. Those things are all pitiful lies people say. Life sucks. People suck. Existing sucks. That's just the way things are.

The lights flickered and turned back on even though the rain still poured outside. Otabek sat up. He looked dead. Hollow. Not all there. "I'm sorry," he apologized to Yuri, "you were the one coming here for comfort, weren't you? And you ended up comforting me instead."

"It's fine," Yuri hugged Otabek, not because he asked for it, and not because he wanted it, but because he  _needed_  it, "we're friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah," Otabek sighed, "we're  _friends_."


	15. Fünfzehn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I just updated, forgive me.

The events of that night were never talked about. Yuri never told Otabek what had happened with his grandpa and Yuri never asked why Otabek had flipped out. The two didn't mention it and the two didn't feel the need. Everything was unusually usual for them. In other words, they were acting a little  _too_  normal around each other. 

"Hey, Otabek," a classmate waved to catch his attention, "are you entering any art into the competition this year?"

"Maybe," Otabek replied, "if I can find the right muse." 

"You're an artist?" Yuri asked completely dumbstruck. Otabek nodded as if this was everyday knowledge. "I've never seen you so much as  _draw_." He was thoroughly confused. Otabek gave no response. How could he tell Yuri that the only thing he usually drew was Yuri himself? That would be a bit stalker-ish. It wasn't his fault that Yuri was the perfect drawing item. He wasn't sure how to draw anything else at this point since he was so used to drawing Yuri.

"You should totally enter something!" Yuri smiled. He didn't know if Otabek was a good artist or not but he didn't care. "I'll be your muse!" he suggested. Otabek had intended that comment to be a joke. He had no idea what to do now that Yuri had offered to be his muse. It was this simple conversation that forced Otabek into an impossible situation. Yuri even followed him back to his apartment whilst continuously begging him to pose for a painting or something. Otabek wanted nothing more but to refuse, but this offer was too much to refuse, and he found himself losing his inner battle. Any excuse to turn Yuri into art was a good excuse. But, was it really necessary to follow Otabek around the whole day just for this moment?

Otabek opened a door to a room Yuri hadn't noticed before. There were nothing but newspapers covering the entirety of the floor. Random bottles of paint lay out in the open with canvases leaning up against the walls. Yuri couldn't help but notice that Otabek's paintings were all of the same person. A small twinge of jealousy awakened in his being, (not that he knew it was jealousy at the time, however).

There was one painting in particular that was different from all of the rest. It was of a chained demon shrouded in darkness. The detail in the painting transfixed Yuri. He found himself getting closer and closer to it without any hope of return. The demon reminded him of Otabek but the reasons for this similarity were unknown. 

"It's a failure of a self portrait," Otabek said, hiding the painting by placing it behind more paintings, "I never managed to complete the face." Otabek grabbed a chair and placed it directly across from a stand with a blank canvas. He gestured for Yuri to sit in it. Yuri, unsure of how to sit, managed to sit in the most uncomfortable way possible. He was so stiff.

Otabek was about to tell him to relax a little when the door to his apartment was practically kicked down. The male from all the paintings in the room had materialized before them. "Otabek!!!" he cried and jumped to glomp him. Otabek tried his very best to remain sitting. "How could you! I thought I was your one and only muse!" he complained.

"You were the only one who could sit in a room for hours in the same position," Otabek corrected, "but I've just had someone volunteer as tribute," he gestured to Yuri. "And when did I ever say that you were my muse?"

Yuri glared at the stranger. He wanted nothing to do with him. The guy seemed  _super_  annoying. No, forget  _super_ he was ultra annoying. He was likely to be the most ultimate form of annoying that existed in the world. 

"J.J. this is Yuri. Yuri, this is Jean-Jacques," Otabek introduced the two. "Can I get back to painting now?" he sighed. The answer was no. The two males in the room that didn't know of each other's existence were currently having the most exhilarating stare down of a life time. It was like they were communicating with their eyes. Otabek was rather uncomfortable with this. The thought of Yuri being attracted to someone like Jean-Jacques was concerning. If it wasn't for the sheer look of disapproval on Yuri's face, he would've been terribly troubled. 

"Who the fuck're you?" Yuri continued to shoot lazers from his eyes.

"I'd like to ask the same question to  _you_ ," Jean-Jacques answered.

"J.J. is my childhood friend. He has been the only person to pose for any of my paintings since no one else has the patience for it. Yuri is," Otabek paused, he wasn't sure how to word it, "a  _friend_." The poor guy was still in the friendzone and forgot how to speak of the nightmare. Rest in peace, Otabek. It's okay. We all understand how difficult the word 'friend' is to say.

"That's it? That's the only kind of description I get?" Yuri frowned.

"It's the truth, isn't it?" Otabek asked. He didn't understand why Yuri was so upset. The two were  _friends_. There wasn't really much more to their relationship. Did he want Otabek to say they were  _best_  friends?  _Close_  friends?  _Pals_? That was beyond the imagination of Otabek. 

Yuri was hurt but he didn't fully understand  _why_. It felt to him as if Otabek was far away all of the sudden. There was this great divide between them and, within an instant, Yuri knew nothing of the person he called 'friend.' There was so much to Otabek that he didn't know or understand. It confused him so much. But, what confused him more was the fact that he was so interested in Otabek in the first place.

"Please don't replace me," Jean-Jacques was still hugging Otabek. "I'm the only one for you, you promised."

"I didn't promise a single thing," Otabek sighed, "please let go of me. I know you like being the center of attention, but I think you could learn to limit your conceit here and there. It's not like I'm replacing you completely."

"Really?" he stood up and walked out, "Well, that's fine then. Have fun," he waved as he left. Yuri and Otabek both breathed a sigh of relief. That was easier than expected.

Otabek stood up and walked over to Yuri. He began to position him in such a way that Yuri had no idea of what he looked like. He probably looked incredibly stupid. He felt dumb with the pose that he was in. He was standing with his arm stretched out pointing at nothing. Otabek had asked him to smile, but that was impossible and he looked more like he was crying. Wasn't he originally supposed to be sitting? Why was he standing now? Yuri was extremely confused with the turn of events.

"Don't force yourself," Otabek said. That's what he said but Yuri wasn't too sure that he could last with his arm in midair. Otabek, noticing that Yuri was having difficulty within the first five minutes, began to take pictures instead.

"What are you doing?" Yuri asked.

"There is no way you'll be able to keep this position up. You like moving around too much to pose. I'll just take pictures and go from there," Otabek replied. Yuri, feeling like he had let Otabek down, tried his best to hide the fact that he was sad. Otabek, realizing Yuri didn't want him to know how he was feeling, tried his best to ignore it. The two were completely and utterly clueless when it came to the other, and they had no knowledge of how to fix it. What were they supposed to do?


	16. Sechszehn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for posting these chapters so close together. I'll try harder to space them out. 
> 
> I have a bad habit of posting a lot at one time and then taking a super long hiatus until I find motivation to write again. I'm hoping that doesn't happen with this fic again any time soon (or at all).   
> I didn't write for almost a couple of months the one time I think.
> 
> I'm trying my best.  
> I'm not even sure if this story is taking a turn for the better or for the worse.
> 
> I promise I haven't forgotten about Victor and Yuri (so if anyone was worried about that please don't be).

The painting was going smoothly, for the most part, until Otabek tried to paint the face. He didn't know what type of face to paint. Yuri had ended up becoming less like Yuri and more like the angel in Otabek's mind. His thoughts about Yuri ended up making the painting a little hard to believe. This wasn't Yuri anymore; this was his  _idea_  of Yuri. It reminded him of his self portrait. He couldn't get the face right on that one either. 

Otabek grabbed his failure and put it on a stand next to his current work. The two had a bit of a similar vibe around them. Maybe he should just touch them both up and submit them faceless. Otabek held his face in his hands and sighed. He didn't know what to do. He didn't even want to enter  _any_  artwork this year but Yuri seemed so excited to be his 'muse.' 

Jean-Jacques was the only person that Otabek had painted before (outside his own self portrait). Yuri was the only person that Otabek sketched. Why was it that he seemed to move onto a different form of art with each person he held an attachment towards? What would be next? Would he try charcoal? Maybe watercolor? Otabek had always wanted to try watercolors but he'd never gotten around to it. Jean-Jacques used to be so different when he was younger. Otabek wondered what had happened to  _that_  Jean-Jacques. Maybe his girlfriend changed him. Or maybe he just got a sudden boost of confidence from somewhere. Otabek didn't understand. But, the person that he had loved certainly didn't exist anymore. 

Otabek didn't know what to do about the face of his painting so he just continued to perfect everything else. It had taken him a while just to get  _this_  far. The deadline was within a few days. Should he just turn them both in and leave it faceless? But they needed faces. Without faces how could they be proper people? Well, they weren't even people to begin with. They were  _ideas_. Should he leave it symbolic? Up to interpretation? But they  _needed_  faces. Otabek wasn't sure what to do. He'd been up for most of the night trying to figure it out. 

"Is that supposed to be me?" Yuri asked. Otabek was prone to hallucinating Yuri so he didn't realize that Yuri was actually in the room with him. He also didn't realize that he'd forgotten to lock his apartment door and that's why the real Yuri was able to get in.

"Yes, it's supposed to be you," Otabek replied.

"And that's supposed to be  _you_?" 

"Yes."

"Why do you look so sad? Why'd you make yourself a demon?"

"Because it's impossible for a person like me to be in the same rank as you. Demons are fallen creatures meant to be in the cold dark areas furthest from God's love. My Father which art in heaven surely hast forsaken me or my real father wouldn't have been such a bastard," Otabek replied. It was at this point that he realized Yuri was real. The reaction on Yuri's face was one he wouldn't have imagined. The normal hallucination would've nodded and smiled sadly. But this one hugged him and began to cry. Hallucinations can't hug you. They aren't real. Inwardly Otabek cursed himself out for speaking too freely. He didn't want Yuri to worry about him or pity him in any shape or form.

"You aren't a demon," Yuri's muffled voice escaped. His face was buried in Otabek's chest. "You aren't a demon, Beka, you  _aren't,_ " he sobbed. This wasn't the first time he'd called Otabek 'Beka' but it certainly didn't happen very often. Otabek knew for sure now that Yuri wasn't thinking about his actions or words. He was relying purely on instinct and raw emotion. Otabek would never be able to do that. This was part of the reason he loved Yuri so much. How is it possible for someone to act purely for themselves? Otabek was used to being controlled. He felt as if free will was impossible for a person like him. He felt as if his whole life was just a cruel game for whoever created him. Maybe he was a puppet. Maybe he was Pinocchio. He longed to be a real person but that wish would never become true...or so he believed.

"Yuri," Otabek patted Yuri's head, "this is just a painting. It's not the truth."

"But it is  _your_  truth," Yuri replied. Otabek couldn't fight that logic. Yuri was right. It was his truth. The truth sucks. 

Otabek opened his mouth to speak again but closed it shut. His mouth formed a straight line as he tried to collect his thoughts. He shouldn't say too much more or things could get out of hand. Otabek was a reserved individual. He didn't know what to say or how to say it correctly so he preferred to say as little as possible.

"I'm sorry," Otabek finally responded. "I wish I could see myself the way you see me."

Yuri clung to Otabek. He'd stopped crying but he didn't know what else to do now. He'd gotten snot and tears all over Otabek's shirt. He also didn't want Otabek to see his after-cry face. Why'd he cry to begin with? So unmanly. No wonder people thought he was a girl. He didn't act like a guy. Yuri inwardly beat himself up continually until Otabek patted his head. He looked up at Otabek's face without knowing what to do. 

"Are you okay now?" Otabek asked.

"No," Yuri sniffled.

"Oh," Otabek replied.

"I want you to be happy, Otabek," Yuri took a deep breath in and then let it out. He was trying to calm himself down. How was Otabek so calm all the time? It must be a superpower of some sort.

Otabek smiled, "Thank you for worrying about me so much. I'll always be happy as long as you're happy though."

Yuri blushed, shook his head, and then frowned, "that's not happiness!"

"It is for me," Otabek sighed, "It'll be the closest thing I can ever get."

"That's so sad..." Yuri wanted nothing more than to help Otabek. He was determined to do something for him. Although, he didn't know the first thing about where to start. 


	17. Siebzehn

"Otabek, you're an angel," Yuri repeated. It was only about the one hundredth time that he'd said it. 

"You keep saying that but it isn't going to change my self image, Yuri," Otabek replied. 

"But, Otabek, you're an  _angel_ ," he said it again.

"Please stop," Otabek pleaded.

"But, Otabek..." Otabek placed a hand over Yuri's mouth to shut him up. He couldn't take this much longer. He most certainly  _wasn't_  an angel and nothing Yuri ever said was going to change that fact. He was the scum of the earth. He knew it. Other people knew it. His parents knew it and had carved the words into his mind. There was nothing that could be done about it. Anything Yuri said would simply carve the image deeper since his mind was  _absolutely certain_  that anything positive said about him was a  _lie_.

"I get it, but please, stop," the male sighed. Ever since he had entered the two paintings into the contest, Yuri had been telling him that he was the real angel about every ten seconds. Otabek didn't know what to do. How was he going to get Yuri to stop? He wasn't an angel. He wasn't even  _close_. Yuri was the angel. That's how it all worked. When would Yuri understand the truth? Otabek didn't know but he desperately hoped that it would be soon.

"Bu, Otabech," Yuri spoke even with Otabek's hand over his mouth. Otabek shook his head and walked away. There was nothing he could do to convince Yuri. It was a good thing that school was over, or he might actually go insane hearing that 'he was an angel' over and over again. How long would this last?

Yuri sighed too. What could he possibly do to convince Otabek that he wasn't a terrible person? How could he explain to Otabek how much he meant to Yuri? Yuri didn't know where to begin. How does one say this kind of stuff? There has to be a trick to it or something of the sort.

"Yuuri," Yuri began, "how did you tell Victor what you thought of him?" he asked. Yuuri blushed and avoided eye contact for as long as possible. First of all, he  _hadn't_  told Victor what he thought of him. He never even came  _close_  to saying anything that sappy to Victor. The two were in a relationship, sure, but not much had changed between them except the title. Yuuri was still a mess whenever Victor was involved. Victor was still a mess whenever Yuuri was involved. It was all just a giant cluster of messy.

"Yurio," Yuuri finally brought his eyes back to Yuri and tried to get more information on why he was asking him this question, "how do you  _really_  feel about Otabek?" 

"He is my most precious friend," Yuri answered. Yuuri cringed. Yeah, there was no saving him from that answer, was there? Everyone besides Yuri himself knew of Otabek's feelings. If only Yuri felt the same way, (which many assumed that he did, except Yuri).

"Yurio, he is your  _only_  friend," Yuuri sighed. He tried to think of a way that would help Yuri with his problem but he could only think of ways that helped himself. Maybe they would do the same for Yuri but Yuuri doubted that. "When I try to get feelings out, I write poetry, but I don't think that is going to help you as much as it does me. Poetry is the last thing you'd want to do," Yuuri sighed. Yuri sighed too. He had a valid point.

"What should I do?" Yuri couldn't help but to look at the sky at times like this. Maybe something from up above would help him with this conundrum. Looking at the sky rarely helped, but he always did it anyway. 

"The only one who knows how you're truly feeling is yourself," Yuuri explained. "I'm sure the right words will come to you eventually. Maybe you just haven't experienced the right time yet."

"I hope the right time comes soon," Yuri sighed. He couldn't stand the awkwardness he'd been feeling around Otabek recently. He just wanted everything to return to normal. What if he was the one that was changing? And not Otabek? Then what was he supposed to do? How could he un-change? Yuri didn't want anything to change. That was his problem. He hated the feeling that change brought. He hated it when things ended up different. When things became different, Yuri almost  _always_  got the short end of the stick. That's exactly what was happening now. His grandpa had just become different, and now he was in the hospital  _dying_.

Yuri's phone vibrated in his pocket. He quickly took it out and answered it, hoping that it was Otabek calling. It wasn't. Why did he expect that it was? Yuri dropped to his knees. He couldn't hear or see anything around him. He could only hear the words from the people on the other side of the phone. They were telling him the unspeakable. They were telling him his grandpa wouldn't last much longer and that he might even die  _tonight_. That's not what he needed to hear. That was the  _last_  thing he needed to hear.

There was a click and the phone went dead. He could vaguely sense the people around him asking him what was wrong. All that was going through his mind was the thought of him being all alone in the world  _again_. He didn't need this to happen for the second time. He didn't need to have another grave to visit. 

What if Otabek left too? What then? Was he doomed to live a life alone? He might as well just die right here and now. He didn't want to be left behind. When would he be free? Free from this eternal suffering? The questions and concerns of the people around him fell on deaf ears. He just wanted to disappear into nothingness. He wanted Otabek to pat his head and tell him that everything would end up fine. He didn't care that it was a lie. He just wanted it to be the truth. 

He wanted comfort. Comfort from  _someone_. It didn't matter who it was at this point. He just wanted  _something_. 

"I need a ride to the hospital," Yuri spoke. His voice was barely audible. "I need a ride  _now_."


	18. Achtzehn

Otabek wasn't expecting to meet who he did that night. He had just wandered into the supermarket so that he could get some food for the next couple of days. How was he to know that he would meet  _them?_  Otabek wanted to live a peaceful life away from anyone related to him by blood. He just wanted to be free. However, that dream was but a dream. He could never be free from his past or anything of the sort. He was doomed to a life of miserable encounters and terrible circumstances. He was but a dreamer, longing for the things that he could never obtain. 

He had no knowledge of the phone call that Yuri received just moments after the two had separated. He had no knowledge of Yuri's grandfather's condition. All he knew was that he desperately wanted to  _leave_  this supermarket. He wanted to avoid  _them_  at all costs. One single moment of eye contact could bring piles of memories back from the depths of his mind. He didn't need another breakdown. He'd already had one just recently. Once was enough. Once would always be enough.

Otabek let his guard down for a moment when he saw a good deal on some groceries. He had made one fatal mistake. He should've just left the store right when he saw  _them_  there. But he didn't. He didn't and he regretted it with all of his being. He was an idiot. This mistake would be fatal. He should've trusted his gut from the moment he sensed that things were wrong. 

"Otabek? Honey, is that you?" the sound of his mother's voice behind him was enough to make Otabek freeze. The last thing he needed right now was a conversation filled with lies. But, it didn't just end there, no, it got much worse.

"Darling, come see who it is, it's our dear boy," the mother called down the aisle. The man turned and the father's eyes met with the son's. Otabek wasn't just frozen now. He could barely breathe. He felt as if the area around him was closing in on his body. He felt his mind return to that of a ten year old boy. He remembered the walls of the closet he'd been locked in. He wanted nothing more than to leave that store. He wanted nothing more than to leave and forget that this interaction had taken place at all. What was he to do? His body wasn't responding to any of his wishes.

"Otabek, it's good to see you again," the father placed his hands on his son's shoulders. Otabek was frozen in place forced to look in his father's eyes. He hated every minute of it. He could feel the hypocrisy of this conversation between him and his parents. These were the same people that told him they never wanted to see his face again. Why were they suddenly acting all friendly? Something wasn't right. Every fiber of his being was telling him to run. Why wouldn't his body listen to his brain? Why couldn't he run as far as he could in the opposite direction?

"We were just about to make our purchases," his mother began. "would you be a dear and help us pack the car? We're not as young as we used to be, you know?" 

He wanted nothing more than to yell 'no' but he found himself nodding instead. Perhaps if he did this single act they would leave him alone. His parents were the ones that kicked him out. Why were they being so strange? Was it because this was a public place? Otabek didn't want to follow them to their car. He didn't want to help them with their groceries. But he did. He cursed himself for every second that he stayed beside them.

"Thank you so much for helping us," his mother smiled. Otabek cringed. He still hadn't been able to get his mouth to work. He still wasn't able to move his body the way he wanted to. Was this some sort of next level sorcery? Why was he so scared? Why couldn't he act the way he wanted to? 

"We really appreciate it," his mother's eyes glimmered in a way that Otabek knew was dangerous. He needed to leave. Like right  _now_.

Otabek made a run for it. He turned on his heel and ran as fast as his legs could possibly carry him. He didn't look back and he didn't dare go home. If his parents found out where he lived his nightmares would only continue. Did they want him dead? Apparently so.

He stopped when his legs wouldn't take him any further. He tripped over a rock and barely caught his balance. Was he safe? His heartbeat was the fastest it had ever been in a long time. He should've taken P.E. more seriously. It would've saved him at a time like this.

Otabek had let his guard down too soon. He could only catch a glimpse of arms wrapping around him and a cloth being pressed against his face. He struggled but it was futile. He should've known that his father was a fast runner. He shouldn't have thought running away would save him. Otabek cursed himself for the last time before he felt his consciousness fading. The last thing he remembered was the backseat of his parents' car. 

Was this technically still a kidnapping? Why were his own parents doing this to him? An image of the angelic painting of Yuri flashed in his mind. Would he ever see Yuri again? Or would this be the time he finally lost his life? Otabek didn't know how to feel. He didn't even know what to think of in his final moments of consciousness. So, he just thought of Yuri.

 _We brought you into this world, we should have the right to take you out of it_.

_You never should've come to that store tonight, Otabek._

_It's time to say your final farewells._


	19. Neunzehn

Yuri had tried countless times to call, text, and contact Otabek in the short time that he was at the hospital. He hadn't left his grandfather's side but he was seriously considering it. What had happened to Otabek? Why wasn't he answering? Did Yuri do something wrong? Otabek wasn't known for giving him the silent treatment. Why was it  _now_  of all times that he disappeared? This was the time that Yuri needed Otabek the most. Where was he?

Yuri paced back and forth at the base of his grandfather's hospital bed. He had a choice to make and he didn't know which decision was the right one. Should he leave his grandpa and go to Otabek's apartment? What if something seriously wrong had happened? What if Otabek was injured and in critical condition? 

"What should I do?" Yuri stopped his pacing and looked to his grandfather for advice. He was sleeping soundly in the hospital bed. Yuri didn't want to wake him up. This was probably the only time he had to sleep with all of these doctors buzzing around him. But, it was also the worst time imaginable. What if Otabek was actually completely fine but his phone died or something? Then Yuri would've been worried for nothing. What if a silly reason like that was the reason he hadn't replied to Yuri? What if Yuri's grandfather died while he was gone? Should he really risk his final moments with him just because of a chance that Otabek might be in danger?

Yuri inhaled and exhaled a couple of deep breaths to try and clear his mind. There was a feeling in his gut that something was wrong. He didn't know what it was. What could've possibly happened to Otabek in the short time that they'd been apart? Yuri tried his best to calm down. He sat in a chair and folded his hands. Staring at his grandfather wasn't helping him decide. The only decisions Yuri could make (on a good day) was what to eat for breakfast. 

"Yuri? Is that you?" a familiar voice spoke. Yuri jumped out of his chair and turned around. His hopes were let down when he realized his brain had played tricks on him. Of course it wasn't Otabek. Otabek didn't even know that Yuri's grandfather was in the hospital. Why would he be here?

"Why are  _you_  here?" Yuri glared. Jean-Jacques was the last person he wanted to see right now. 

"My mother is a doctor," Jean-Jacques answered, "I came to visit while she was working. Where is Otabek? Isn't he always with you?" 

Yuri shook his head in response, "No, I haven't heard anything from him for a few hours now."

"Is that unusual?" Jean-Jacques' voice seemed panicked but Yuri didn't understand why. Was it unusual for Otabek not to text him? Now that he thought about it, it kind of was. Otabek would always respond to his messages within minutes of him texting them. Yuri nodded to Jean-Jacques' question.

The male he barely knew stood before him with an expression pale as a ghost. "We have to go check to see if he is okay," he grabbed Yuri's hand and dragged him out of the hospital. His decision was made for him. Yuri mentally said his farewells to his grandfather and prayed that everything would be okay for both his relative and his friend. 

When the two finally arrived at Otabek's apartment it was eerily quiet. Yuri's feeling of discomfort increased. He was uneasy and still didn't understand why. The two opened the door (since Jean-Jacques had a key) and walked right in. Otabek wasn't there. It didn't matter how many times Yuri called for him or how times the two searched the rooms, he wasn't there. Every cell in Yuri's body trembled with fear. What had happened? It appeared that Jean-Jacques had the same reaction. He was Otabek's childhood friend and the only person who knew, truly, how terrifying Otabek's parents could be. 

"This isn't good," Jean-Jacques said, "this isn't good at all." Yuri didn't know how to react. He was already feeling terrible and now it had gotten drastically worse. What should he do? Who should he call? Where should he even begin to look?

"Yuri," Jean-Jacques' voice got creepily serious, "are you willing to die for Otabek?" he asked. Yuri stared at him, bewildered by the question. He'd never thought about it before. Would he die for Otabek? Yes, he almost certainly could say that he would. However, there was a piece of him that knew if he  _did_  die for Otabek, Otabek would almost certainly die too. 

"No," Yuri shook his head, "I'm willing to  _live_  for him," he said. If he died Otabek would die too. So he had no choice but to live, even if he died, so that Otabek would still live.

"I am almost 99.9% sure that I know what happened to Otabek," Jean-Jacques' hand shook with fear which only unsettled Yuri more. "However, if I'm right, I can't say that nothing bad will happen to you. Do you want to help me help Otabek? Even if you get hurt?"

Yuri nodded without a second thought. This was his chance to help Otabek after all of the times that Otabek had helped him. He wasn't going to allow Otabek to be at risk any longer. He would save him. He would save him no matter what it took. That's what friends are for. Friends slap you in the face when you do something stupid to keep you on the right path. Friends have your back when times are tough. Friends do everything they possibly can to make sure they're there when you need them the most.

But, then again, lovers do that too. Or at least, they're supposed to.

Yuri followed behind Jean-Jacques. He had no idea where he was going but he trusted that Jean-Jacques did. Each step that he took his resolve strengthened and his fears worsened. He was absolutely terrified but he was even more scared of the idea that he'd never see Otabek again.  

"I'm on my way," Yuri prayed that Otabek could hear him. He hoped with all of his might that Otabek would hold out until he got here. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this was actually supposed to be posted sometime last week but I ended up having a super busy weekend and I forgot. I'm not in a good place right now and (it's completely obvious because of the way this story has taken a super dark turn that will be evident in the next chapter) life has been super tough. Anyways, hang in there for me.
> 
> I'm not even kidding.  
> Hang in there for me.  
> Because I want nothing more than to let go.  
> Honestly.  
> It's a terrible time.


	20. Zwanzig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back to give you a chapter that I had to cut a lot out of in order to keep it somewhat decent. (lol)  
> I kind of dropped off the earth for a bit when it came to writing. I honestly forgot all about this until just now. (so sorry)  
> Ya people still even waiting for this bad boi? Because let me tell ya somethin
> 
> VictuurishouldbecomingbackwiththeflufftosaveusallfromthisOtayuriangsthellthatI'vecreatedbutitwon'thappenuntilafteri'vefinishedthis'arc'
> 
> Stick around for chapter 23 because that should be around when I get my life together and go back to what this fic was supposed to be: Victuuri fluff.
> 
> Oh boy, where have I gone wrong?

The room around him was cold. He could feel the coldness in the air and the musty atmosphere. He must be underground, there was no other explanation. This was the same room that he'd been well acquainted with in the past too. This was the basement of his parent's house. He was back home. He was miserable. Otabek wanted nothing more than to leave this place. He felt like a child again. The world was punishing him for reasons unknown. Why was he here? He thought he'd been set free.

He was wrong.

He was so terribly wrong.

Otabek's eyes were well adjusted to the darkness by this point. His arms were tied behind his back and his legs were tied individually to each leg of the chair that he was currently sitting on. Another rope was tied around his body to keep him in the seated position. Otabek was slightly grateful for the fact that he wasn't blindfolded. At least he could somewhat see what was going to happen to him whilst he was stuck here. He could see the shapes and the shadows and the various objects around him. This provided at least a slight amount of comfort knowing that it wasn't left to his horrible imagination.

"It's really nice to see you again, son," his father's voice whispered into his ear. Otabek flinched. He didn't realize that another person was in this room with him. This wasn't the usual stuck-in-the-closet fiasco that Otabek was used to. He'd been in the basement before, but each occurrence was different from the last so Otabek had no idea what to expect. He didn't like not knowing what was going to happen. That only provided him with food for anxious imaginings. Which, well, was exactly what his parents wanted.

His father moved to stand before him. The smile on his face was incredibly fake. Otabek never had a father worth calling a father. He never had a mother worth calling a mother. He hated them both but he wouldn't be free of them. His father smiled and continued to say the most hollow of things. He said how much he 'missed' Otabek or how much he 'longed' to see him. Everything was incredibly flat.

Otabek felt hands wrap around his neck. His father's face contorted into a vicious demon. His eyes turned red and began to cry tears of blood that dripped down his face and onto Otabek's lap. His tongue escaped his mouth with a serpent-like length. This was no longer the person who was his 'father' in the past. This was a demon sent from the depths of hell to collect Otabek's soul. The nails dug deep into the sides of Otabek's neck causing him to bleed. He tried to break the handcuffs keeping him from struggling. This was the end. There was no saving him now. Otabek couldn't breath. He couldn't see properly. 

He was going to die.

Otabek jerked out of his seat, sweating, panting, gasping for air. Was it a dream? Was it a hallucination? Was it reality? Otabek couldn't tell the difference. How long had it been since he had water? Food? A will to live? Otabek just wanted to be free from all of this. He wanted it to end. He didn't dare close his eyes again for fear another nightmare would be awaiting him. What did he look like? Were there bags? How long had he been trapped here? Did his parents even enter the room once since he'd been left? What was real? What was fake? Questions like these and more filled his brain. There wasn't anything keeping him in check. He didn't know the difference between fiction and reality. 

"I'm surprised you didn't leave when you had the chance," his father stepped out of the shadows. Was this his real father? Was it another figment of his mind? Otabek wanted nothing more than to leave, but that was impossible. He couldn't escape. His hands were tied, quite literally.

"You actually kept talking to us even though I had told you with such certainty that I never wanted to see you again," his father walked towards him. Each small glimpse of light that rested on his face from the lantern he was holding danced in a crude fashion. Otabek couldn't see a human face. He could only see the outlines of what had been human in the past. Maybe his father was a changeling. Something this malicious couldn't have been born human. But humanity has always had darkness within.

His father threw the lantern at Otabek's feet. It wasn't anything more than a glass frame with a door to place a candle in the center. The fragile glass broke and the candle's flame inched up Otabek's leg. He wanted to scream from the heat of the ever-growing flame but the noise wouldn't escape his mouth. 

Cold water was thrown onto him. His eyes snapped open and he looked around frantically. Was it a dream? His clothing wasn't even singed. How much longer would he have to go through this? Otabek shivered. He was awake, cold, and still thinking up things that weren't real. Was this the true nature of torture? 

His eyelids felt heavy. His stomach was empty. He knew he hadn't eaten for at least two days now. Why didn't he have a snack before going to the grocery store? Oh, right, because he'd gone to the store in order to  _get_  food. Otabek was prone to forgetting he had to eat. He probably hadn't eaten anything that day after lunch at school. He could tell it had been over two days, vaguely, because the pain was familiar. Yuri, on the other hand, didn't seem to  _stop_  eating. Yuri was his reminder to eat.

 _Yuri_.

What was he doing right now? Was he okay? He wasn't locked in a basement or anything, was he? In that moment Otabek heard a voice in the back of his head. He wasn't sure if it was himself, hoping that someone would save him, or the real Yuri. In any case, he heard a voice and that voice gave him a small glimmer of hope.

_I'm on my way._


	21. Einundzwanzig

The door to the basement burst open and light from the outside shined down. Yuri stood there with police sirens in the background. This basement was the type that had the entrance from outside that made it seem like some sort of slaughterhouse when you opened the giant metal slabs. Yuri raced down the steps and jumped. His feet went directly into Otabek's father's face and the guy fell to the ground. He was unconscious, for now. 

Otabek was silent. His eyes were blinded by the light. He could barely tell what was going on. He was too disoriented. "Otabek?" Yuri's voice was close. He just didn't know  _how_  close.

"Y-Yuri?" he asked. He hadn't used his voice in such a long time. That's what it felt like. Otabek was feeling the pain of hunger and thirst. He wasn't sure what was going on aside from that.

"I'm going to get you out of here, right now," Yuri tore at Otabek's ropes. He carefully lifted the guy and tried to help him walk. Otabek could barely move a muscle. Yuri frowned. Some parents he had. 

A hand grabbed Otabek's ankle. "Where do you think you're going?" the voice said. Otabek wasn't sure it was real. He still saw things in the shadows. Yuri took charge for him and kicked his father in the face. 

"We are leaving this place," Yuri glared at the unconscious body and continued to help Otabek out of the death trap of a basement and over to the ambulance. He needed a trip to the hospital. That much was clear.

"He is going to be in the same room as your grandpa," Jean-Jacques whispered into Yuri's ear as the two got into the vehicle. Yuri had forgotten all about his grandfather when he'd seen Otabek. A twinge of guilt flooded him. What if he was dead now? It would be like he had completely neglected him. The only family he had left. Some relative he was. 

"Is he..." Yuri began. He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. 

"My mother said he is fine, for now, but you better hurry back," Jean-Jacques sighed. "I'm not sure how long he is going to be 'fine.'"

Yuri had two people he cared about and they were both going to be in the hospital. What kind of life was he living? Why were things this way? It simply wasn't fair. He wanted them both to be safe and happy. Life was being too cruel. He didn't deserve this. No one did. 

"Otabek," Yuri held Otabek's hand as he was thrown into the chaos of a medic unit. People hovered around him throwing needles in his arms and doing various tests. Yuri couldn't do anything but hold his hand. Otabek didn't seem completely there. Yuri didn't know what happened to him. He didn't want to. He just wanted Otabek to be  _okay_. Would he? Was he ever okay to begin with?

Yuri felt like an idiot. He didn't know anything about his friend. They'd been together all this time and Otabek felt like a stranger all of the sudden. Yuri didn't like it. He hated the feeling that Otabek might wither away into nothingness and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. 

He watched as Otabek was wheeled away once they'd gotten to the hospital. He watched him close his eyes and drift off into a long and distant sleep. He also noticed that his grandfather was being wheeled out of his room and Otabek was being wheeled in. It was too late. He hadn't been there when his grandfather passed. Guilt swarmed his mind. His body. Every piece of his existence. He wasn't there the one time his grandfather needed him the most. Yuri forced himself to move. He forced himself to verify the facts. He raced towards his grandfather. He ran. 

A person on the medical staff grabbed his arm. Yuri had seen this person a couple of times. The person knew that Yuri was a relative, "He is dead." 

"No, that can't be right," Yuri denied it. "Why?" he asked the universe before bursting into tears. "Why did it have to be like this?" he cried. Yuri couldn't have a meltdown here. He had to stay strong. He had to go back to Otabek. Otabek needed him now. He couldn't think about anything else. 

Yuri sat beside Otabek. He heard various medical staff say things like 'maybe he has given up' or 'he might not make it if he loses his will to live' or 'something isn't right but it might be all in his mind.' Yuri chose to ignore it. Otabek couldn't leave him behind like this. He couldn't lose the two people he cared about in the same day. Yuri grabbed Otabek's hand. He muttered things and hoped his message would reach Otabek somehow. 

"You can't die," he sobbed. "I can't lose you too," he said. His voice was just a whisper. 

Day by day Yuri would return to the hospital and hold Otabek's hand. He wanted everything to be okay. He wanted Otabek to sense him in some way. Would it work? Only time would tell. Yuri would speak to Otabek and tell him random things about that school day. Victor and Yuuri were still making scenes. They were still the talk of the high school. 

"Otabek," Yuri held Otabek's hand in both of his. "I need you to wake up now," he said. How long would it take? How many days would he have to return to see that Otabek still was unconscious? 

Otabek's eyes opened but he couldn't speak immediately. He had just woken up from a very long sleep. It was taking time for him to regain control of his body. "Yuri?" his voice was quiet. He didn't remember much of what had happened to him. That was probably for the best. 

"Otabek?" Yuri began to cry. He jumped onto Otabek and hugged him. "You're awake!" he smiled. He laughed. He sobbed. "Welcome back."

"I'm back," Otabek replied.


	22. Zweiundzwanzig

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last Otabek x Yuri chapter. You can all rest easy knowing the dark part of the fic is finished. (lol)  
> This wasn't supposed to be this long. I just wanted like two chapters on the two ^^" but it ended up being a monster. (so sorry)
> 
> We're reaching the final part of the fic now. There won't be many chapters left :'( Brace yourselves...

Otabek was nearly finished with his rehab. His body was starting to work as it had in the past. Yuri had explained to him a bit about what had happened. He seemed reluctant to tell Otabek  _everything_  though. Otabek didn't care that much about it. He was fine with forgetting. Yuri had also explained that his grandpa had died. He was now abandoned with no where to live. Otabek had offered to have Yuri live with him. He wasn't really thinking about the situation thoroughly when he'd suggested this.

"Beka?" Yuri questioned as he walked out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel hanging loosely around his waist. "Do you have any spare clothes? Mine are all in the wash." Otabek nodded and gestured to his dresser. Yuri wandered over and started looking through the drawers. It was all going to be too big for him. He should just pick something at random. 

"Yuri," Otabek began, "I really need to tell you something." Otabek had been meaning to tell Yuri for a while now. He felt that Yuri should know since the two were living together.

"What?" Yuri asked. He threw his towel on the floor and put on one of Otabek's shirts. Otabek wasn't sure what to look at so he just continued looking at Yuri.

"I have a confession to make," Otabek didn't know how to say this. Yuri had trusted him so much as a friend. He didn't want to ruin that trust by telling him how he felt. There was no way around it. Otabek didn't want to be dishonest anymore. 

"I love you, Yuri," he said. There was no need to beat around the bush. He just had to go for it. 

Yuri stared at him with a blank expression for a minute or two. "What?" he laughed nervously. "You aren't being serious, right?" Yuri sat down on the floor. He couldn't remain standing for something like this. 

"I trusted you, Beka," tears began to form in his eyes. They were numerous and continued to form and fall off of his face and on the floor. "You weren't supposed to be like everyone else," he cried. "You are my  _friend,_ " Yuri's voice cracked. He wasn't sure what was worse: his feeling of betrayal or the idea that he might lose Otabek now. 

"I know," Otabek smiled albeit sadly. "It's  _because_  I'm your friend that I didn't want to lie to you anymore," he stood up and went to the bathroom. It was his turn to take a shower. Yuri needed time to think. He shouldn't bother him. 

Yuri listened to the water as it ran. He wasn't sure what to do. Would he be able to continue living here if he knew Otabek was looking at him in  _that_  way? He had just shamelessly gotten naked in front of him too. What was he thinking? Yuri was losing his mind. He cared about Otabek too much to end their friendship. But, he had known too many people with weird feelings for him in the past. They were forceful and strange. He knew Otabek wasn't like them but he still felt wary. 

Otabek entered the room again. He had done the same thing Yuri had but Yuri suddenly felt embarrassed to look at him. Otabek had a better body than he did. He'd lost some weight because of his time in the hospital but he still looked good. 

"Yuri," Otabek squatted in front of Yuri. His towel was just barely covering what it needed to. His hair was wet and dripping water onto his body. Otabek ran his hand through his hair to keep it from getting into his eyes. "Can you move for a second? You're sitting in front of the drawer with my pants." Yuri nodded and scooted over. He watched as Otabek got dressed. Each time Otabek glanced at him, Yuri looked away but his eyes always came back to Otabek. 

"I'm not going to do anything to you," he sighed. "I'm not that type of guy."

"I know," Yuri paused for a moment, "I know, but I just...I don't know what to do now."

"You don't have to do anything but if it makes you feel better I can keep my distance for a while," Otabek suggested. He didn't want Yuri to be uncomfortable around him. Now that the two were living together he had to make sure Yuri felt as safe as possible. 

The thought of Otabek disappearing lurked in the back of Yuri's mind. He didn't want that. He wanted Otabek around. He wasn't sure what love was like but he knew Otabek was important to him. "It's fine," he said. "I'll be fine," he tried to reassure Otabek and himself. It wasn't working. He hadn't been this self-conscious around guys that had confessed to him in the past. He started hating them because he knew their feelings weren't genuine. Yuri knew that Otabek liked him for him. Maybe that is what made this whole thing so weird. 

"Yuri?" Otabek sat down on the floor with him. He grabbed his hands, held them in his own, and looked him in the eyes. "I'm not going to do anything to you. I promise."

"But," Yuri started to cry. He clung to Otabek's hands. "What if I want you to?" he asked. Otabek didn't know how to answer. "I don't know what I'm thinking or how I'm feeling. I know you're not like the rest of them but I was still scared. I'm not used to this being a positive experience. I like you. I don't want you to leave me. Is that love? I don't know," Yuri continued to cry. "I just know that sometimes I want to hold your hand and hug you. Sometimes I fantasize about other things. I don't know how I'm feeling. I just know that I don't want you to leave me. You've been gone for so long and it was weird. I hated it." Yuri hated when Otabek wasn't there. He hated that Otabek was kidnapped by his own parent and was lost in a coma for so long. He just wanted Otabek around. 

Otabek pulled Yuri into a hug. "I've waited for you this long. I'm not going to leave you any time soon," he promised. 

"Is it okay? Like this? Wouldn't it be weird?" Yuri asked.

"No," Otabek assured, "it's not weird."

"What if you find someone you want to spend your life with and it isn't me? We aren't in a relationship so I can't stop you..."

"Yuri," Otabek couldn't help himself from laughing just a bit, "there is no one in this world that I would rather spend my life with than you." Yuri blushed. 

"Good," Yuri nuzzled his head into Otabek's chest. That was one less thing he had to worry about. 

It didn't matter to Otabek how long it took for Yuri to realize what his own emotions were. He would survive even if Yuri didn't return his feelings. But, for now, there was hope and he would cling to it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the fic is finished...I might write an extra chapter where Yuri finally realizes what he feels for Otabek (only if you guys want tho)


	23. Twenty-Three

"Victor," Yuuri's voice was solemn on the phone. Victor wasn't sure what that meant. Had he done something wrong? He shouldn't have. Yuuri would've told him if that was the case, right? "We need to break up." Guess he was wrong in thinking that. What had he done? Victor didn't understand. 

"W-what?" This couldn't be right. Their relationship had been going so well. Or, had he been the only one thinking everything was gong smoothly? Had he underestimated it? Had he not put enough effort in?

"I just don't think we work well together. I'm sorry," Yuuri apologized. He hung up directly after. Victor couldn't even say another word. That only made him all the more skeptical. This couldn't be right. Something was wrong.

"I don't understand," Victor dropped his phone in his confusion. What had he done? What had he missed? Ciel heard the phone drop and went into Victor's room to check on him. Victor was still in shock from the whole experience. Emotions were delayed. 

"Victor? What happened? Why do you look so confused?"

"Yuuri, he just...broke up with me," Victor didn't want to say the words aloud. He had to. He hated it. He wanted to crawl into a ball on his bed and never go outside again. Never. His brain was malfunctioning. So was his heart. 

"Bullshit," Ciel crossed his arms and frowned, "there is no way that you two could've broken up. Something must be wrong. You have to talk to him."

"But, what if he really doesn't like me anymore?" Victor asked. His mind was filling itself with doubt. He doubted himself. He doubted Yuuri's feelings. 

"I'm telling you that's impossible. Something has to be up. You have to get to the bottom of this," Ciel pointed at Victor's face then turned to leave. Victor stared at the door as it closed. Maybe Ciel was right. No. Victor shook his head. Ciel  _was_  right. Something had to be wrong. There must be some sort of reason. He was going to get to the bottom of this, just like Ciel said. 

Yuuri sat on his bed and threw his phone on the floor before plopping down. He'd thought about this for a while but he couldn't believe he actually did it. Yuuri felt broken. There was something daunting about being in a relationship with Victor. There was always this looming thought in the back of his mind that it would end and he would be forced back to reality. Yuuri wasn't special in his own eyes. Victor was 10x better than him in every way possible. He'd enjoyed his taste of heaven. It was time to end the facade. 

He clung to his pillow and bundled up in as many blankets as he could find. "I don't want it to end," he sobbed.  _But it has to. You'll never be good enough for Victor Nikiforov. What made you think it was okay to start this? You know the truth, Yuuri._

"I do know the truth," Yuuri spoke to himself. "The truth is, I love Victor." 

_No, you don't. You love the **image**  of Victor. You love that he can be himself. Something you can't be. Who are you Yuuri Katsuki?_

"A fake," Yuuri closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Maybe he could sleep through his alarm and completely neglect to go to school. He hoped that would be the case. 

It wasn't. Yuuri went to school like usual. He avoided Victor with all of his power. Victor didn't seem interested in talking to him either. The two avoided each other full force. It got the school talking. People muttered to each other wondering if the two were fighting. They wanted to know what had caused the fight. They whispered about if the two would ever fix the problem. Was this the end? Phichit was especially worried. 

"Yuuri," Phichit ran over to him in the hallway. "What is going on?" he asked. Yuuri avoided eye contact and refused to give a straight answer no matter what types of questions his friend asked. Phichit had seen this happen before. Yuuri lacked confidence in himself more than anything. He could guess as to what happened between Victor and Yuuri.

"You broke up with him, didn't you?" Phichit placed his hands on Yuuri's shoulders. He looked him right in the eyes. 

"Y-yeah," was all Yuuri could say.

"Why the hell would you break up with the guy you've been pining for all of this time?!" Phichit's voice raised and students glanced in their direction. 

"You already know why," Yuuri sighed. It's true. Phichit knew almost everything about Yuuri. He could put the pieces in place. The puzzle wasn't that hard to solve. 

"Yuuri, Victor cares about you. He isn't going to let you end it like this," Phichit frowned.

"What if he does? You don't know everything, Phichit," Yuuri fidgeted. "It was going to happen anyway. I just solidified the future before I got too carried away. What's so wrong with that?"

Phichit raised his hand and slapped Yuuri. The noise was loud and more people glanced in their direction than before. Students were whispering to each other. Teachers were keeping an eye on them to make sure it didn't escalate. "That's your anxiety and low self-esteem talking and you know it. You have to  _trust_  people, Yuuri. You have to trust  _them_  more than you trust  _yourself_  because your brain is shit."

Yuuri placed a hand on his cheek. It was read and burning from where Phichit slapped him. "I know that," he muttered. No. He didn't. He could tell himself thousands of times but his brain would never truly understand what Phichit was saying. "I'm not who he thinks I am. This whole thing was founded on lies, Phichit. It  _had_  to end."

Phichit frowned. "If Victor lets you go this easy, then he isn't who I thought he was. But, you, Yuuri, you've disappointed me. Maybe I'm the one who doesn't know who you really are, not Victor," Phichit walked away. He knew he said too much and some of it was stuff Yuuri couldn't handle right now. He couldn't be bothered to think about that. He had to fix  _this_. He had to do something or his friend would make the biggest mistake of his life. 

"Victor," Phichit ran after the male. What perfect timing. Victor just conveniently happened to be there when Phichit needed him. "I need to tell you the truth," he paused to catch his breath. "The truth about Yuuri Katsuki."


	24. Twenty-Four

"What?" Victor looked incredibly confused as Phichit grabbed his hand and dragged him into a nearby uninhabited room. He should be used to this by now but he wasn't. People were weird. What else could he say?

"First, I need to clarify something," Phichit crossed his arms and sat on a desk. It didn't matter if their next class had started and they were going to skip it. He needed to get this resolved. His ship was going down and he  _needed_  to fix it or it would sink forever. He wasn't going to take the situation lightly. 

"How do you feel about Yuuri?" he asked. "I want an honest answer."

Victor thought about it for a moment. He wasn't sure if words could describe how he felt about Yuuri. "I love him," he tried to say, "it was love at first sight for me." Victor wished with all of his heart that he could've been better with his words. For someone so attractive he really wasn't that skilled in the art of flattery. Victor felt as if he had betrayed all attractive people everywhere. He apologized profusely for his miserable vocabulary. 

"Which version of Yuuri do you love?" Phichit asked. Victor didn't understand the question. He loved all of Yuuri. 

"There is more than one Yuuri?" Victor's confusion was enough to convince Phichit that he cared little about if Yuuri was an anxious potato wedge or a sexy high school player. Both were one and the same in Victor's eyes. 

"Victor," Phichit folded his hands and thought for a moment. "Yuuri is a strange one. He wants to be confident but at the same time his brain won't let him stay that way. There are two sides to Yuuri and he has  _convinced_  himself that they're supposed to be separate and secret. On the one hand you have who he presents himself as in school. The confident, sexy, amazing Yuuri Katsuki. On the other hand you have the anxious, depressed, lonely Yuri Katsuki. That's who he is outside of school. They're both Yuuri but Yuuri doesn't think that way. He thinks you only like the one version and he couldn't handle the pressure of being double sided. That's why he broke up with you," Phichit sighed. 

"But I-" 

"I'm sure you do," Phichit cut Victor off before he could finish his sentence. "But you're going to have to  _prove_  it to him somehow. You have to do something flashy," Phichit stood up and walked towards the classroom's door. "Good luck," he smiled before leaving. 

Victor didn't know what to do. He thought about it the whole day. He just wasn't that talented of a person. He didn't know what he could  _possibly_  do to get Yuuri back. Should he be romantic? Should he let it go? He didn't want to let Yuuri go. Victor sighed. He sighed the whole walk home. His fathers and brothers totally knew something was wrong with him. They all knew it was related to Yuuri too. No one wanted to say anything but at the same time they  _all_  wanted to say something.

"Ciel," Victor knocked on the twins' door, "I need your help with something."

Ciel glanced towards Leic before opening the door. 'You're his favorite. You got this!' mouthed Leic. "What kind of something?" Ciel asked. 

"Can you help me write a song?" Victor begged.

"A song?" Ciel crossed his arms. "What type of song? You do know that Leic does all of the song writing here, right?"

"I just need the music. I'll come up with the lyrics myself. Please make it simple so that I can play it," Victor put his hands in the praying position and pleaded with all of his might. 

Leic spit out his drink. Play it? Victor didn't know how to play an instrument. What the hell was he talking about? Leic needed to stop eavesdropping. It wasn't helping him get any information. "Do you know how to play an instrument?" Ciel asked.

"That's a secret," he winked. He didn't want to reveal his master plan all in one day. Ciel would have to wait just like everyone else. There was no telling if it would work. He didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. 

"Fine," Ciel rolled his eyes. "When do you need it by?" 

"Two weeks," he smiled. "Thank you!~" he gave Ciel a big hug and went back to his room. 

"Did he just hug me?" Ciel asked Leic.

"Brother dear, he totally did. Make him a great song or you'll be putting the Satanic Siblings' name to shame," Leic snickered. 

"This is nonsense," Ciel sat down at his keyboard and began to think. "I have no idea how to write a love song," Ciel slammed his face down on the keys and sighed.

"So, don't?" Leic suggested. "Just write a song inspired by Victor, Yuuri, or... _Victuuri._ After all, they were destined to be  _victuurious_ ," Leic began to crack up at his own joke. Comedy gold. Best comedian of the year. 

"That's it!" Ciel sat up and began to write notes on some paper. 

"I know. I try. I'm the best source of inspiration," Leic smiled smuggly and went back to his natural state: lazy and sleeping.

Yuuri stood in the center of his room. He was trying to remain calm but this random burst of anxiety just hit him. His heart was beating so loudly he could  _feel_  the beat by his ears. He was sweating coldly and thinking about the most pointless worries. He knew they were stupid. They  _felt_  stupid. But he couldn't stop thinking about them. 

"I need to sleep," he couldn't sleep if he was pumped up with adrenaline. He needed to calm down. Telling himself that he needed to calm down wasn't helping. Phichit was mad at him (with good reason) and he hadn't talked to Victor at all (also with good reason). He was a hot mess and there was no one to talk to about it. 

"You need to go back to Victor," a tiny Yuuri spoke from Yuuri's shoulder. This Yuuri was confident and has his hair slicked back. He was using contacts and wearing a nice outfit. 

"You can't do that," another Yuuri clung to Yuuri's ear. This Yuuri was chubby, wearing sweats, and his hair was a mess.

"Yes, you can. You should apologize and explain the situation. Victor will understand. He might be mad for a while because you didn't talk to him first but he will  _understand_ ," the confident Yuuri sat down on Yuuri's shoulder and crossed his legs. 

"No, you can't!" the chubby Yuuri hid behind Yuuri's neck. "He is going to hate you! You knew that your relationship couldn't have lasted forever. Don't kid yourself! Nothing is permanent! He doesn't like you, not really."

"Stop it," Yuuri wanted to tear all of his hair out. Why couldn't his brain just stop thinking for one moment? He wanted to sleep. He wanted peace and quiet. Yuuri plopped down on his bed and let out a huge sigh. He was going to force himself to sleep if it was the last thing he did.

"It's all fine," he lied to himself, "everything is totally  _fine_." Yuuri closed his eyes and drifted off. He just needed to forget about his problems for now. Just put them in a box and neglect to fix anything. The school year would end eventually. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ciel: Do you know how to play an instrument?
> 
> Victor: Is mayonnaise and instrument?
> 
> ^I wanted to write that so bad but I had to hold myself back. xD
> 
>  
> 
> I feel like my writing is going downhill. The start of this was really great back a few months ago. But now it's just kind of...sad. I'm so sorry. ;-;


	25. Twenty-Five

One week had passed. Yuuri was still avoiding Victor. It didn't matter how many times Victor crossed paths with him. It didn't matter how many times Victor waved or smiled. Yuuri was determined never to talk to him again. Victor was determined to try and get Yuuri to talk to him. Yuuri didn't talk to Phichit either. He assumed his childhood friend was still mad and always would be. He was a mess and was trying to fix it all with some hair gel. It wasn't working. Nothing was working.

Victor sighed. He'd made all the proper arrangements. Waiting was the hardest part. The school's talent show wasn't for another week. He sighed again. He hadn't done a single thing wrong but Yuuri was avoiding him like the plague. He hated not being able to do anything. It made him feel useless. Not that he ever believed he had much use to begin with. 

"Well, I guess that's just proof he feels guilty?" Victor asked the air. "That  _has_  to mean he still likes me, right?" Victor plopped down on the grass and sighed again. He wanted to go home but he missed his bus. 

"Victor?" Otabek walked over and sat by Victor. "What are you doing?" Had he missed his bus too? Or was he here for some event? Victor didn't know. To be honest, he didn't care either. It was nice to have someone to talk to. 

"I'm becoming one with the earth. Isn't it obvious?" 

"Something is wrong with you and Yuuri, isn't it?" Otabek asked. Victor didn't talk to Otabek much. He was one of Yuuri's friends, not his. Aside from sitting at his lunch table in the past, the two barely crossed paths. He wasn't surprised that Otabek noticed something was wrong. It was the talk of the town. He also wasn't surprised that Otabek asked him about it immediately. The guy just seemed like the type to worry about others. 

"Kind of," Victor admitted. There wasn't a point in lying about it.  _Everyone_  and their uncle knew by now. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Otabek asked. "I'm a good listener, or so I've been told."

"You like the other Yuri, right? How have you been able to go this long without knowing if he feels the same for you?" Victor asked. It was relevant but not relevant at the same time. Otabek looked at the sky. He was lost in thought for a moment. 

"It's not a matter of knowing, Victor. It's a matter of feeling and trusting," Otabek answered. "If I was worried about whether or not I  _knew,_  I would never have made it this far. You'll never  _know_  anything. Not really. There are so many things  _unknown_  in the universe. Knowing it all is impossible. But, if you understand that you know you don't know, you'll be fine."

"I never realized you were such a Socrates," Victor laughed. 

"Do you feel that Yuuri likes you?" Otabek asked.

"He shows it in a weird way but I think so," Victor confessed. 

"Do you want to trust that he does?"

Victor closed his eyes. He most certainly  _did_  want to trust that Yuuri felt what he had before. His emotions weren't gone. They were just misguided. "Yeah, I think I do."

Otabek smiled a bit. "You'll be fine, I promise."

"Hey, Otabek," Victor paused for a moment, "do you know how to play an instrument?" 

"Surprisingly, I do. Why?" 

"Would you like to help me?" Victor asked. His plan wasn't the best but at least it was a  _plan_. He wanted another opinion and Otabek seemed pretty safe. 

"Help you?" Otabek thought for a moment and then realized, "You're in the talent show, aren't you? What could I possibly do to help the famous Victor Nikiforov?"

"Play an instrument," he snickered. 

"I haven't played an instrument in  _years_ , Victor, I'm not sure how helpful I'll be," Otabek scratched the back of his neck. 

"That's fine," Victor smiled. He was being optimistic. That was all. "You said I'd be fine so now I gotta tell you that you'll be fine too. Just help me out, please?"

"Beka!" Yuri ran towards Otabek and pounced on him causing him to fall backwards. "I've been looking for you!" 

"You two look cozy," Victor observed. 

Otabek groaned, "You could say that. I think he just broke my back."

"But, will you do it?" Victor asked.

"Will you do what?" Yuri, who had walked in on the conversation late, asked.

"He wants me to play for him in the talent show as accompaniment," Otabek explained. 

"I didn't know you could play an instrument," Yuri was shocked. He wanted to hear it though. He wanted to see Otabek on stage. Just the idea of Otabek in a suit when he normally wore a leather jacket intrigued him. Yuri was 100% certain he would look amazing and perform amazing as well. 

"I...used to be able to do a lot of things," Otabek cringed at his memory. His parents drilled thousands of skills into his mind. They were forced down his throat and he rarely enjoyed the experience. 

"You should do it," Yuri smiled.

"I suppose I don't have a choice," Otabek sighed. "I'll do it."

"Thanks Otabek," Victor stood up and started walking home. There wasn't much else he could do. Maybe he could call Vincent and get a ride. Surprisingly, Vincent was already waiting for him. It must've been a dad instinct. 

"Get in the car, hoe, we're going shoppin'" Vincent briefly took off his sunglasses to make the statement. How long had he been waiting just to say that? Victor didn't want to know. 

"How did you kn-" Victor tried to ask if 'dad instinct' was a real thing.

"I'm a dad, bitch, now get in the car," he began rolling up his window and Victor got in immediately. Dad instinct was confirmed a real thing. He believed in it fullheartedly. 

"What are we shopping for?" Victor asked.

"Fabric."

"Why fabric?" 

"It's a secret," Vincent winked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have time to proofread this (whoops).  
> Sorry about the daily updates. There are only a few chapters left and I just want to get them out ASAP or I'll never post them. I don't want to make you guys wait three years for the next update because i got lazy. ^^"


	26. Twenty-Six

Backstage was dark. Victor could barely see anything. All he knew was that he was supposed to perform next. He looked down at his hands then checked to make sure his outfit was on right. Everything was in place. This piece of clothing was specifically designed for him by both of his dads. They spent so much time working on it. It was dazzling. Pink. Very gay. He felt strange wearing it but it somehow suited him.

His name was called. The curtain rose. He walked on stage. Cheers, claps, and whistles were heard. He stood at the microphone. He breathed in. He breathed out. He smiled. He waved. He'd been rehearsing this for a whole two weeks. It wasn't much time. Now that he was actually up here in front of this crowd, he was having second thoughts. Was this really the best idea? Did he still have time to back out and call it quits? 

"I'd like to dedicate this song to mein Lieber," Victor winked at the crowd. He briefly scanned it looking for Yuuri. Phichit had sworn on his life that he would drag his corpse to the show. He had to trust him. He had to trust this would work even if he knew it was a wild idea that made no sense. 

Otabek began to play the mini grand piano in the back. He was wearing a suit with a tailcoat. He looked like a true professional. Otabek was a man of many talents. Yuri was lucky. Victor was lucky too. 

 _Can you hear my heart beat?_  Victor began to sing. The music was composed by his precious brother but he had spent many nights trying to find the right lyrics. They fit Yuuri well, in his opinion, but he also had a connection to their meaning. 

 _Tired of feeling never enough I_  Victor closed his eyes to match the lyrics.  _close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true_. The two spotlights shining on himself and on Otabek turned off. The lighting changed. _There'll be no more darkness when you believe in yourself, you are unstoppable. Where your destiny lies, dancing on the blades, you set my heart on fire._ Victor was finally able to find Yuuri in the crowd. Or, what he thought to be Yuuri. He continued to stare at him for the remainder of the song. He didn't want to take his eyes off for one moment for fear that Yuuri would disappear. 

 _Don't stop us now, the moment of truth, we were born to make history. We'll make it happen, we'll turn it around, yes, we were born to make history._ Victor was feeling the pressure of being on stage. The lights were hot. The many eyes staring at him burned holes in his skin. He wanted to leave but he refused to allow himself that pleasure. Victor continued to sing. The crowd seemed really into it. He couldn't tell for sure. He was too focused on Yuuri.  _Don't stop us now, the moment of truth, we were born to make history. We'll make it happen, we'll turn it around, yes, we were born to make history._

 _Can you hear my heartbeat?_ Victor could feel the tears coming. He tried to keep them back. It wasn't working as well as he might like. He managed to do it but the emotion still poured out of him.  _I've got a feeling it's never too late I_ Victor desperately tried to keep his voice from cracking. Would Yuuri understand? Would he accept this apology for the crimes he never committed?  _close my eyes and see myself how my dreams will come true._

Victor reached out his arm towards the crowd in the direction where he thought Yuuri was. He couldn't be certain. He just had to trust his gut that Yuuri was there.  _They'll be no more darkness when you believe in yourself, you are unstoppable. Where your destiny lies, dancing on the blades, you set my heart on fire. Don't stop us now, the moment of truth, we were born to make history. We'll make it happen, we'll turn it around, yes, we were born to make history._

The song continued and Victor tried his best to remain composed. It was difficult. He could hear Otabek's steady playing. That's what kept him going. Otabek was a reliable guy. He'd never realized it before. Eventually, the song ended. The crowd went wild for some reason. Victor bowed. Otabek stood up and bowed too. Then two bowed together and walked off stage. 

Otabek grabbed Victor's shoulder, "Are you alright? You look pale."

"I, I'm not sure," Victor felt the world around him go black. He wasn't sure what the color felt like but he knew he was feeling darkness now. The ground got closer. Otabek caught him, but Victor was clearly not among the healthy and living. 

"Victor," he heard a voice calling. Victor tried to look up. He was exhausted. He'd spent the last two weeks not eating, not sleeping, and definitely not thinking about anything besides Yuuri. 

"Yuuri?" he closed his eyes. Everything was gone. He couldn't hear. He couldn't see. He couldn't stand on his own two feet. Victor wasn't certain about what was going on. He just knew that he was drifting in a void unknown to this realm. Was this what it was like to sleep? He hadn't slept in so long he'd forgotten. 

Yuuri appeared in the darkness. "I'm sorry," he said. "I shouldn't have done something so terrible to you," he apologized. "You went and wore yourself out because of me."

"It's okay," Victor replied. Or, he tried to but his voice wasn't working. "I forgive you," he tried again. Still silent. 

"I'll leave you alone," Yuuri began to disappear, "I won't bother you again. I know I'll just make it worse eventually so I'll leave before that happens." Victor reached out to grab Yuuri's hand but Yuuri was already gone. 

"Yuuri," he tried to say. "Yuuri!" his voice still wouldn't work. Would this really be the end? Victor looked down at his body and saw that it was disappearing too. Ah, so this was the end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope the emotion came out properly. I cried while thinking about this but I'm still 100% sure it didn't work out the way I wanted. ;-;


	27. Twenty-Seven

Truth is, Yuuri Katsuki  _had_  been in that audience. He  _was_  where Victor thought he had been. Yuuri was crying the whole time. Phichit came prepared with tissues. The song was beautiful. Victor was even more beautiful in that outfit. His little heart couldn't take it. Everything was so perfect he just wished he was on the stage beside Victor. He felt so guilty about the while thing. He almost wanted to believe that everything would be okay if he just apologized. He almost  _did_  believe that. 

Victor's hair glistened in the lighting. His voice was like an angel's. A holy angel sent from above that Yuuri still didn't deserve. Yuuri didn't deserve to have a song dedicated to him. Victor was trying to get Yuuri back even though Yuuri was being such a bitch. What did he do to win the heart of someone like that? He wasn't worth the trouble. No one would ever be good enough for Victor Nikiforov. No one would ever come close. 

"If you don't run after that delectable man," Christophe threatened, "I'll go after him myself."

Yuuri didn't have to be told twice. He immediately went backstage. The performance was over. Victor had walked out of the audience's sight but he was being supported by Otabek now. Victor looked about ready to pass out from what Yuuri could tell. Yuuri took care of it from there. He became the support for Victor and dragged him to the nurse's office. It wasn't that far from the auditorium. Fate was on their side. For now.

After placing him on one of the beds in the room, Yuuri grabbed a chair and sat. He waited for Victor to get up. The guy was sound asleep. It was well deserved. Victor looked so exhausted nearing the end of the song. Yuuri wasn't sure what to do. He only talked. He apologized even though he wasn't sure if Victor would hear him. But, that didn't matter. He wanted to say it anyway.

"I'm sorry," Yuuri started crying. "I'm a bastard and I know it but it's just how it is," he sobbed. "I don't want to do things and then I end up doing them. I'm sorry," he apologized to the unresponsive Victor. He said as many things as he could. He just kept apologizing and eventually he decided it was time to leave. He needed to give Victor some time to sleep. He was being a nuisance,  _again_. 

Yuuri stood up. Victor's hand grabbed his wrist. Victor opened his eyes. He'd forced himself to awaken after that strange dream he had. He was scared. He was afraid. He wanted Yuuri more than anything else in the world but Yuuri just didn't understand that. Victor didn't know what he could say or do to help Yuuri get it through his mind that he cared about him. His voice still wasn't working. It must be a side effect from the dream. His mouth opened. Nothing came out. He tried again. Still nothing. 

"Are you going to let go of me? You're grabbing really tight," Yuuri said. Victor shook his head. He wasn't going to let go. Never. "I'm sorry about all of this," Yuuri continued and avoided eye contact. "I'm the worst," he sighed. 

"It's okay," Victor said. His voice was finally starting to listen to him. 

"No, it's not," Yuuri's voice cracked. 

"With time, it will be," Victor smiled. 

Yuuri hugged Victor. It was an awkward hug but he didn't care. He was practically lying on top of the guy. It didn't matter. He just wanted to hug Victor. They'd been so distant for so long. Yuuri wanted to bridge the gap between them. "Can we be boyfriends again?" he asked.

"No," Victor replied. Yuuri was about to have a heart attack. Can Victor feel his heart beating right now? He wasn't sure if it was working properly. He might drop dead in this very moment. "But, we  _can_  be  _husbands_."

"Did you just propose?" Victor didn't respond. He left that up to Yuuri's imagination. It wasn't the best way to propose but Yuuri didn't exactly give him a lot of time to think about it. Victor didn't want to lose him. Yuuri would just have to deal with the unromanticness of it all. They could save the romance for the wedding, (or after the wedding).

"We can't get married! We are too young," Yuuri frowned. He appreciated the sentiment but it simply wasn't going to happen. The thought of marrying Victor was a nice one though. Yuuri imagined an old version of Victor. He'd still look attractive even as an old man. Yuuri was sure of it. He'd age fantastically, just like wine (not that Yuuri had any idea what wine tasted like).

"Says who?" 

"Says me."

"Then we'll just have to be fiancés until you're ready to plan the wedding," Victor reluctantly agreed. 

"Until  _we're_  ready to plan the wedding," Yuuri corrected. "I'm not planning a wedding all on my own, Victor," he said. "This is all happening too fast. Are you sure you want to marry me?" Yuuri's head wasn't working properly. His mind was jumping all over the place. Was this really going on? Or would he wake up and realize this was the biggest nightmare in human in history?

"I've always been sure," Victor replied. "It's you I'm worried about. You won't back out again, will you?" 

Yuuri shook his head, "No, I won't, I promise," he said. It was a promise he wouldn't be able to keep but at least his heart was in the right place. He would try his very best not to be a hot mess again. 

"I don't believe you," Victor held Yuuri close, "so I'll just have to keep an eye on you at all times. You're not allowed to back out of this. I don't care if you find a better person than me. I'm not letting you go, ever," he said. 

"That's fine," Yuuri smiled. "I'd prefer it that way."


	28. Twenty-Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter (it's kind of a filler chapter that I wrote for absolutely no reason in particular other than to make the final chapter count an even number).
> 
> There will be two epilogues after this (one for Victor and Yuuri and one for Otabek and Yuri) and then the fic will be finished. :D

"Yuuri," Vincent looked scary sitting at the end of the table. His hands were folded and his expression held no emotion. "You've caused us a fair amount of grievance in this household." Yuuri wasn't sure how to respond. Vincent was likely talking about the fact that he had ended his relationship with Victor. No amount of apologies would suffice. He had no words that were good enough for this situation. They were back together now. All's well that ends well? Somehow he felt that wouldn't be enough for this guy. 

"Don't be mean," Victor hugged Yuuri from behind. He was standing while Yuuri was sitting. 

"It's all fine now, right?" Adrian hugged Vincent from behind too. Like father like son, as they say.

"It's  _not_  all fine," Vincent frowned. "He gave us all a heart attack!"

"Well, what do you want him to do to apologize? Bake a cake?" Adrian asked. He was only half serious about it. 

"Yes," Ciel and Leic both answered from the other room. They were experiencing a shortage of cake lying around and felt this  _needed_  to be remedied. It didn't matter to these twins if the cake was good or bad. They just wanted it. Later they would regret that decision. The cake would surely turn out incredibly  _bad._

"I'm not very good at baking," Yuuri confessed. 

"I'll help you," Victor offered.

"No, you won't," Vincent said. "Yuuri has to bake the cake all on his own. No help whatsoever."

"How is that fair?" Victor frowned. 

"Not all things in life are fair, Victor," Vincent replied. 

"I'll try my best," Yuuri was determined to bake the best cake imaginable. Even though he had no idea where to begin. He'd have to find a recipe, whatever that was, and some ingredients, whatever those were, and maybe some supplies. What do you need to bake a cake? A bowl? A spoon? A tray of some sorts? This was becoming a bigger challenge then he thought. Cooking was hard. How had he survived this long without knowing this necessary skill?

"Good luck," Victor said. Yuuri was on a role now. He googled how to make a cake, found a recipe, and began to find ingredients lying around in Victor's home. Surprisingly, there were enough. He was just missing one or two things. It would be fine, probably. He could improvise, maybe. Each time he thought he knew what he was doing, he didn't. More and more mistakes happened along the way but Yuuri ignored it. 

Victor watched Yuuri scramble around the kitchen. He wanted to help but unfortunately Vincent was staring daggers into his back. There was nothing he could do to assist Yuuri. It was pure torture. 

Yuuri tripped over his feet and the flour went straight up into the air and landed all over him. Yuuri's hair was covered in the white dust. He blinked rapidly and tried to breathe. Flour still lurked in the air. Adrian snickered in the background and Vincent took pictures. This was going to be a long night. Everything was a mess already. 

Hours passed with Yuuri trying to figure out how to bake a cake. He hadn't stepped foot into a kitchen in his entire life. His mom was the one that did everything. Yuuri didn't know what he was doing and it was painfully obvious. His final creation ended up being a hazardous blob.

"I don't know much about cooking," Victor poked the blob with a wooden spoon, "but if I had to say anything about it...I'm 100% this isn't what a cake looks like. Actually, this looks more like what I imagined Mr. Goo looking like," Victor crossed his arms. 

"Mr. Goo?" Yuuri asked.

"I read a fanfiction one time where Mephisto attempted to cook and the thing he ended up making turned out to be a self-aware blob named Mr. Goo," Victor explained.

"Mephisto?" Yuuri looked lost. 

"Don't worry about it," Victor wasn't sure how to explain his closet anime fan tendencies. Yuuri would find out eventually when Victor began to talk about the next hit series. Unfortunately, he had been too busy to watch anything new as of late. But, one day, he would make Yuuri watch an anime of some sorts. Most likely a very gay one. Sports anime are the best, after all. 

"Well, at least you tried," Ciel said from the other side of the room. He didn't want to take one step close to that monstrosity of a cake. 

"I really wanted cake," Leic frowned and retreated back to his room where he would proceed to cry over the lack of edible sweets in this house. 

"I could...try again?" Yuuri suggested. 

"Absolutely not," Ciel firmly disapproved that notion. He wasn't going to have a continued sense of false hope. He wanted a cake. That cake would not appear from the hands of Yuuri Katsuki. Ciel would have to beg Victor or Vincent for some cash to go buy his own cake. At least then he would know it was edible. He would also know that it was his favorite type of cake. Although, Ciel loved all cake equally so that would be a difficult decision to make. 

"What do I do now?" Yuuri asked Victor. Vincent showed no signs of forgiving Yuuri any time soon. He would have to do something about this but he didn't know what to do. Making another cake would take too long and he was 100% certain it would be just as bad as this turned out to be. 

Adrian gestured for the three males to be silent. He carefully removed the mess of a cake Yuuri created and disposed of the evidence before pulling a different cake out of one of the cupboards. When Vincent wasn't paying attention, Adrian snuck out and bought a cake for Yuuri to pretend to make. He just  _knew_  Yuuri would make a mess of things somehow. He took the cake out of the plastic box it was in and placed it on a plate. Adrian then disposed of that evidence and said, "Wow, Yuuri, you're a professional!" 

Vincent entered the kitchen and examined the cake carefully. "You can't fool me, I know that's store bought," he frowned. 

"Does it even matter at this point?" Ciel rolled his eyes. "I just want cake."

"Fine," Vincent conceded, "you win this round, Katsuki." 

Adrian got plates for everyone and cut slices. The cake didn't last long. It was too good to savor. All's well that ends well, in the end that's how it was. Yuuri was once again an honorary family member. He was Victor's fiancé so he practically was a family member already. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fanfic that Victor mentions is a real fanfiction that I wrote called "The Truth Within the Lies"  
> It's a Blue Exorcist fanfiction with the ship of Mephisto x Shiro if anyone is interested in reading that here is the link...
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/12678756/chapters/28905933
> 
> Sorry for self-advertising but I might as well ^^"


	29. Epilogue (One)

Everything was set up perfectly. Months of planning and years of mental preparation had taken place. Victor stood at the end of the aisle waiting for his beloved to walk down it. The wedding had traditional themes but there wasn't much for the minister to do except have the two read their vows. Vincent was their photographer. Adrian was the pocket tissue dispenser. Everything was going exactly according to plan. 

Otabek began to play the piano. He had accepted that role in this wedding. To be honest, he was just thrilled that he could be a part of their big day. He would do anything for them. They were the dream couple in high school and he would always support them to the best of his ability. Everyone in their graduating class had secretly sworn in their hearts to protect Victor and Yuuri's relationship. 

The music filled the church. It echoed off the walls which made the whole thing all the more beautiful. The doors opened and Yuuri stepped through them. He walked down the aisle with a long white cape attached to his suit that resembled a dress. Victor started crying. Yuuri was already crying. It had taken them a long time to reach this point. After a tough start in high school and a rough four years, the two were finally standing here, at the alter, waiting to be wed. The day they'd been dreaming about was finally here. 

The minister spoke the vows for each of them to repeat in unison. They smiled. They cried. Their hands were joined together and everyone in that church was simply happy to be there for them. The ceremony ended. Phichit ran to the newlyweds and demanded photos. He wasn't going to accept 'no' for an answer. This was a day to be remembered. He demanded documented happiness. 

"Are you Yuuri Nikiforov or Victor Katsuki? Or did you do Nikiforov-Katsuki or Katsuki-Nikiforov?" Phichit interrogated. Yuuri had always secretly wondered if he would ever become a news reporter. The job suited him. Maybe an article writer for the newspaper would be better. Why not a blog? Phichit was tech-y after all. 

"We kept our names the way they were," Yuuri admitted, "changing them seemed too complicated."

"He is lying," Victor confessed. "He is Yuuri Katforov and I'm now Victor Nikisuki."

"Victor!" Yuuri playfully slapped Victor's arm. "That isn't true! Don't get weird ideas into his head. Phichit has enough of those already. Have you read any of the stories he has written about us? He has too much of a weird imagination as it is," Yuuri sighed. 

"What? You didn't like my fanfiction?" Phichit frowned. "I spent so much time on that too."

"Was it smutty?" Victor snickered. Yuuri blushed.

Phichit wiggled his eyebrows, "You wish it was, don't you?" he laughed. 

"Please stop," Yuuri couldn't handle this anymore. He was supposed to be having a great time on his wedding day, not being embarrassed out of his mind. That wasn't part of the deal.

"I'll go easy on you, this time," Phichit winked. "See you two at the reception. I'll be ringing the glass nonstop! I want all of the kissing footage!" He waved and disappeared into the crowd.

"Congratulations," Otabek walked over to the newlyweds.

"Thank you so much for helping with the planning," Yuuri might start crying all over again. This guy was a saint disguised as a human. He would prove it one day. Otabek had to be hiding wings somewhere. 

"Consider it my wedding present. I can't afford anything else," Otabek smiled, just a bit. 

"Congratulations," Yuri muttered underneath his breath. He didn't want to say it at all but Otabek convinced him. Why did he allow Otabek to drag him to this in the first place? He wanted to stay home and sleep. Witnessing two idiots get married wasn't his cup of tea. 

"Thank you," Victor said. "I hope you'll invite us to your future wedding too."

"What?!" Yuri's voice got just a bit louder. "Who said I was getting married?!" Victor and Yuuri looked at each other. Their eyes laughed but they didn't say anything else. Otabek and Yuri left for the reception as well. 

"Weddings are so tiring," Yuuri sighed and sunk into the car's seat. Greeting all of the guests had taken a lot out of him. Yuuri leaned his head on Victor's shoulder. It was finally time for the two to make their way over to the reception. He was so hungry but he couldn't eat a ton of stuff. Yuuri gained weight too easily, not that Victor would mind. Victor liked the idea of a plump Yuuri. He would make for a great pillow. 

"Yeah," Victor grabbed Yuuri's hand. "But it's worth it in the end."

Yuuri smiled, "I love you, Victor."

"I should hope so."

"Idiot this is where you say 'I love you too.'"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't get the script."

"Victor!" Yuuri looked up at Victor and frowned. He wasn't being very romantic. He had one job and he was failing as a husband already. 

"I love you too, Yuuri."

"Adrian, did you get that on tape?" Vincent whispered not-so-quietly.

"I've got it," Adrian gave Vincent a thumbs up. 

"We should've hired a chauffeur," Yuuri sighed. "Your parents are great but they're a little creepy sometimes."

"Yuuri!" Vincent gasped, clearly offended. "We're your parents now too! I will only answer you if you refer to me as 'Daddy'" Vincent frowned. 

"He can't call you 'Daddy' that's for Victor," Adrian snickered.

"He has a point," Victor agreed.

"Papa then. He can call me 'Papa'" Vincent corrected.

"I'm not calling you anything except 'Vincent'!" Yuuri announced. How many times would he have to get embarrassed today? Wasn't once enough?

"It was worth a shot," Vincent laughed. 

Yuuri and Victor remained silent for the rest of the drive. They just wanted to enjoy the peace and quiet before the loudness of the reception hall. Yuuri was hungry. Victor was getting hungry too. Both of them were dying to sleep but the excitement of it all was keeping them going. Each hoped that the rest of their lives would be as thrilling as today was. It would be. They'd make it that way. 

"I love you, Victor," Yuuri whispered.

"I love you too, Yuuri," Victor smiled. 


	30. Epilogue (Zwei)

"That wedding took forever," Yuri complained. "Why did I have to go? I never want to go to another wedding again," Yuri sighed and flopped on the couch. He wanted to wither away into nothingness and never move another muscle. Everything about today was exhausting. Nothing else could possibly explain it better. 

"Not even your own wedding?" Otabek asked. 

"I'm not getting married!" Yuri was adamant about that. Never in his life did he want to marry someone. The ceremony was way too much money. The reception would be way too much money too. He'd be happy with a certificate and a bottle of wine. There we go. Wedding goals. Nothing else was required. 

"Not even to me?" Otabek took off his suit jacket and threw it on the part of the couch that Yuri wasn't occupying. He didn't intend for it to be a serious question. It was just something that had slipped out of his mouth. The two had been living together for years now. Just a few more and they'd be married in the eyes of the law. Ah, no, actually they weren't a heterosexual couple (they weren't even an official couple) so common law marriage wouldn't apply to them. Otabek sighed. Yuri didn't have anything to worry about. Good for him. 

An intense shade of red covered Yuri's face. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind that he might marry Otabek. His brain had already assumed they were going to be together forever. "Don't try to propose to me with such a smooth transition in the conversation!" Yuri hid his face in couch.

"Would you like me to propose in a different way?" Otabek asked. He wasn't sure where this conversation was going but he was thrilled that Yuri was getting so flustered over it. Would this be the day that Yuri accepted him as a significant other instead of simply a friend?

"Dumbass," Yuri mumbled, "you've skipped a lot of steps there. We need to date first."

"Then, will you finally be my boyfriend?" Otabek didn't want to get his hopes up but he couldn't help it. 

"That's what I said," Yuri continued to hide his face in the  couch. He didn't want to look at Otabek. It was too much for him to handle. This was 100% the  _least_  romantic way for them to start dating. He'd imagined it better than the reality of the situation. At least it was finally happening. That's all that mattered. 

A year went by with them officially dating. It wasn't much different from how it was before. Otabek proposed properly and, after two years of planning, the two finally got married. It took a while for them to decide if they wanted to have a big celebration or just leave it be. In the end, they went for just leaving it be. A select few friends came with them when they signed the certificate and got all the legal stuff finished. Then they all went out to dinner. It was very simple. Nothing at all like Yuuri and Victor's wedding. But, it didn't have to be. They were different people with different wants. 

"Should we get rings?" Otabek asked as the group walked by a jewelry store. Everyone adamantly approved of this. Except Yuri.

"Hell no!" Yuri frowned. "Rings are too damn expensive. We can just wrap strings around our fingers or something." 

"String? Really Yuri?" Yuuri crossed his arms and shook his head. "That isn't going to last long at all. What if you tie the string on too tight and end up losing your finger instead?" 

"Well, then I've lost my finger  _and_  everybody knows I'm taken." Otabek wanted to laugh but he knew Yuri was being completely serious so he refrained from doing so. 

"At least get one of those cheap couple ring sets," Victor suggested. "Then it won't be expensive and at least you have  _something_."

"Unfortunately those are always for heterosexuals," Yuuri sighed. "We could just get two sets and you both could use the male one?"

"They have ones that have different crowns on them. Would either of you be okay with having a tiara on a ring?" Phichit pulled up a picture on his phone. He saved the day. Possibly. The lack of gay rings on the internet was a real bummer. Phichit didn't have time to do an in-deth search though. One day, all of the gays would reign. Phichit was sure to make it happen. But, for now, this would have to suffice. 

"I'm not anything less than a king," Yuri crossed his arms. "Beka is going to have the other one. It's decided." Otabek didn't mind either way. He would rather have a ring than no ring at all. Now all they had to do was  _find_  the rings. Phichit offered to buy them. Otabek and Yuri didn't see any reason to refuse. Online shopping wasn't really their area of expertise. 

After all the excitement had subsided and the two had reached their home once again, Otabek placed the certificate in a frame and hung it up on the wall. "Is that  _necessary_?" Yuri asked. 

"Yes," Otabek replied. He'd waited too long for this to happen. He couldn't be more overjoyed. Otabek refused to have it anywhere else. It was his personal trophy. Years ago, he wouldn't have thought this possible. Now that his parents were officially locked away and Yuri returned his feelings, life would never be better than it was now. Actually, it could only get  _better._

"Yuri," Otabek began. 

"What?"

"I love you," he smiled, a true smile. Yuri hadn't seen him smile completely before. All of his face was smiling. His mouth was curved fully. His eyes were lit up with joy. It was a real, genuine,  _complete_  smile on Otabek's face. Yuri was shocked.

"Obviously," Yuri avoided eye contact. Otabek wasn't expecting him to say it back. Yuri rarely spoke his mind in that way. But, that was fine. Otabek was a patient man. 

"I love you too," Yuri said. Tears formed and rolled off of Otabek's face. Yuri panicked. What did he do? "Why are you crying?" he motioned his hands frantically as if trying to grasp ideas on what he should do from the air. 

"I'm just so happy," Otabek confessed. "I never thought the day would come when you'd say that to me but here it is. Could you just...say that one more time please?" Yuri thought back on the years that they knew each other. He'd always said it in his mind but had he really never said it out loud? His brain must've assumed that Otabek already knew so it didn't matter what he said or didn't say. 

"I love you," Yuri repeated and hugged Otabek. He repeated the three words until Otabek stopped crying. The two had a long life ahead of them. Yuri made a mental note to get over his embarrassment of romantic emotions. How would Otabek survive otherwise? Yuri smiled. He felt lucky to have a guy like Otabek as his husband. Yuri hugged Otabek tighter. No one else was allowed to have him. Otabek was his and he always would be. 

"I love you," he said for the last time But, it wouldn't be the last time. He'd say it everyday if he had to. Everyday for the rest of their lives. No, even after they died he would say it. That's just how much he loved Otabek. It was the least he could do, since Otabek had loved him for so long all on his own. Yuri owed him that much. 

"Thank you," Otabek said. 

"No need to thank me," Yuri smiled. "That's what husbands are for."


End file.
